I'm done with the fall semester and I couldn't be happier! Going to school year round is really starting to drain the life out of me. I did get all A's this semester with the exception of a B in anatomy and physiology, but for someone who's been taking finger painting and nap-taking classes for the last three years of college, I count this among my successes (don't take it away from me, I don't have that many).
So I'm home(ish) in Logan with the apartment all to myself while Mom and Phil spend a few days in Park City (to be joined by the rest of us on Wednesday).
I thought this alone time would be good to unwind from the last week of 4-hour-long nights of sleep and the last three months of living with five other girls...
but today was just a big gigantic fail.
1. I fail at watering the Christmas tree
First of all, we have a real tree for the first time in my life (that I can remember, which is the important thing). When mom talked to me about it--while I was still in Rexburg--she sounded completely in love with this tree.
"You need to water it every morning at 9:03 sharp with one of those big plastic glasses full of 3/4 water and the rest orange pedialyte with some vitamin D and omega 3's mixes in or he gets kind of fussy. You must also sing. "Oh Christmas Tree" is his favorite."
At least I think that's what she said.
Anyway, I shimmied under the tree my first morning here and started dumping water in the base, but the water level reached the top and hasn't gone down since, so I'm thinking I put the water in the wrong place, and I'm too scared to call my mom and ask what I did wrong.
2. I fail at being productive
There was absolutely no chance of going Christmas shopping in Rexburg, a) because it was finals time and I was too busy, and b) because...come on. It's rexburg. Where would I get Christmas presents? CAL ranch? The Walmart? Family Dollar? So I made up a list of everything I needed to buy/make and planned to get it all done before I left for Park City. So, today and tomorrow. Did I get anything done today? Why no, no I did not. Tomorrow is going to be greaaaaat.
3. I fail at something reeeeeaaallly embarrassing
So...those of you who know me well, know what kind of hair I have. Tons. Tons of super frizzy, high maintenance hair. For the most part, I've learned to manage it.
My hair does wonderful in Boise, it blows dry in about 5 minute's work with a round brush and I don't even have to straighten it and it's silky and shiny and soft.
Rexburg is slightly worse, it takes a while, but blowing it dry and straightening it usually does the trick.
Logan, Utah hates my hair. Or my hair hates Logan. Take your pick.
It takes EONS to blow dry and an equally long, boring time to straighten, after which I still resemble Medusa's slightly better looking, slightly snake-less sister.
This morning I mustered up the productivity to take a shower, and upon blowing my hair dry, I realize that it feels really weird.
The conclusion that I've come to is that
a) My hair is rebelling against being in Logan
b) I didn't wash all of the conditioner out.
So either way...I failed at washing my hair. This should be a basic functioning skill for a 21-year-old college senior, right?
And I thought I'd made so much progress folding that fitted sheet on Saturday...
"The battle should not be over individual women finding equality, but womanhood, and those characteristics that make it unique, finding equality. Equality for all womanhood, not individuals. Women shouldn't have to become like men to make a difference in this world."
going home going home going home going home going home
I'm going home* on friday and taking Nate with me! And Erin will be there too! And Will and Jessy! And my babies Lexi and Paisley! And mommy! And Phil! And my cousins!
I have two huge tests to take before I leave and another one to take the day after I get back and homework to do and I'm TRYING to concentrate, but there's this constant buzzing in the back of my mind saying
going home going home going home going home going home
*when I say home, I don't mean Coeur d'Alene, where I WISH home was, but to Logan where my parents and Will and Jessy live. Which is starting to feel a little bit like home. But still isn't my Coeur d'Alene.
When you date long-distance, pretty much all of your "pictures together" look like this:
Seriously, Nate and I have been dating for six months and have one legitimate picture together, and that stinks. Something is wrong here people! For someone who owns upwards of 10 cameras, you'd think there would be massive amounts of picture taking going on.
Mostly just screen shots.
Someone fast forward to January. Go.
It snowed here on Friday night, so on Saturday I felt justified in making the most bomb christmas music playlist EVER and listening to it while I did homework.
Until they make a genre of music that is legitimately classifiable as "thanksgiving music," I reserve the right to listen to christmas music starting the day after halloween.
A few months ago, I posted about how life essentially punched me in the face.
Literally (and yes, I mean that in the truest sense of the word) yesterday, I finally got to the point where I felt like everything was on track and I was so so exited about the road I was on and the places I was going.
I went to an open house by the U (my grad school of choice) and was practically jumping around, I was so happy about starting grad school soon, albeit behind schedule.
And then, a few short hours ago, life punched me in the face.
It's pretty much the same thing as last time, more prerequisites to take. But this time...it's just too much.
I don't think I can get up from this one.
I keep breaking out in tears and I just want to quit functioning for a few days.
But I can't, because half the things in my anatomy & physiology class are over my head, I've got to fulfill my calling, and I have tests and papers and assignments piling up higher every day.
And what kills me about it, is that I have noble goals. I want to be an OT so that I can help people who are in some of the scariest situations of their lives. I want to work with kids with special needs to improve their quality of life!
I like to pretend that I have a lot of "readers" and people who actually care if I update my blahg.
So to you imaginary readers out there, I say sorry.
I'm taking smart people classes now AND just got called as the relief society president. One week into the semester and I've already had two major meltdowns.
Anyway, I have some cool pictures coming soon, I promise. I shot a few rolls of film that I'm REALLY excited about, so I'll have them up as soon as I develop and scan them. Also some more digital stuff soon :)
And until then, here are some pictures that I've taken not-so-recently but that I like a lot.
Buildings in Teton. Fun to break into, if you don't mind getting the bird flu (ps: chances of ACTUALLY getting bird flu are significantly decreased if you DON'T throw the eggs from a dead bird into a live bird's nest, causing the live bird to attack you. *CoughNateCough*)
I had a serious boatload of homework to catch up on this weekend. I thought "not a problem. Nate will be home monday, I'll do homework all day sunday and be ready to hang out all day monday."
Nate came home sunday afternoon! He came over to my apartment and asked me and Janessa, "what are you girls doing tonight?"
The smart answer would have been "homework" but we are not smart and said, "nothing!"
So we ended up going to Tetonia with Nate and his best friend Nathan.
Tetonia was GORGEOUS. I could be happy living there, I think. We slept at Nathan's aunt's house Sunday night (I say "slept" but two and a half hours is more like a nap. We had fun roasting marshmallows and stargazing and talking and laughing and playing phase 10 though, so it was worth it) and monday got up at five and drove to Driggs for the hot air balloon show.
They ended up canceling the show because the weather wasn't good for ballooning, but we got to talk with some really cool people! The guy getting jumped by the horse is Ernie. Ernie is pretty legit. Speaking of legit, as much as I love my (Phil's) camera, I felt pretty un-legit in that crowd with my Nikon D70. After the 3 millionth Cannon 5D Mark II, the handful of Nikon D700's and all of the L series lenses I saw, I just kept my head down and tried to snap pictures without anyone noticing what camera I was using.
Anyway, we had our own tailgate breakfast on the sailboat in the back of Nathan's truck
And cheered for the one brave soul who sent his balloon up
After that we started driving out toward Palisaides and the group indulged my photographer weirdness and stopped so I could explore this old school house.
Once we got to the Palisaides, we were all pretty pooped, so we took a little nap in the truck, then put the sailboat in!
(if you've made it this far, congratulations and pat yourself on the back! Sorry, this is almost over. It was a long day!)
The weather was gross and rainy so only the boys went sailing.
Then it was back to rexburg for shower, food, homework in rapid succession, and we were off to idaho falls for the "biggest firework show west of the mississippi" (pish posh)
It was good, I missed watching fireworks over Lake Coeur d'Alene, though.
Getting home was crazy, obviously, and involved some near accidents (including, but not limited to, nate almost falling out the back of Ali's car), but we finally made it!
And that was my independence day!
I seriously love this holiday, when the fireworks were booming and "Proud to be an American" was blasting...God bless the USA.
I've killed about a billion and a half trees (give or take) this semester alone writing out grad scenarios, to-do lists, pro/con lists...things like that.
So plan A for me is graduating BYU-I fall 2012 and then going to grad school at (fingers crossed) the University of Utah.
I've recently decided on a plan B that actually seems a lot more appealing than my plan A. Probably because I've already been in school for (what seems like) forever and I still have (what seems like) forever left.
Here's my plan B:
I want to move into a cute little farmhouse cottage-like place. Preferably close to or in the middle of the woods.
I want at least half an acre for a food garden. Flowers I will plant everywhere else.
I want a little barn. Inside it will be one milk cow and some chickens.
I want bees, which I will keep a little way away from the barn.*
I want to be barefoot all the time and take pictures of my farm that are good enough to sell and everyone will want to buy.
I realize this makes me sound like a total hippy, but I don't care.
It's what I want!
*There was a one day long, non credited "beekeeping for beginners" class that was offered here this spring. I didn't get it because I didn't understand how the system worked. I know the system now. I'm totally crossing my fingers that they offer it again in the fall! If they do, I'm SO all over that!
ps: two days is a really long time. Six months is a whole heck of a lot longer :\
This semester is kicking my bum. If there is ever a semester that I get grades that would keep me out of grad school, this would be it. I feel more B's coming than I would ever like to see, but I'm fighting to keep my A's.
I have my schedule for next semester all set!
Anatomy and physiology (boo)
Family and community relations (ehh)
adolescent development (blehh)
medical terminology (I'm actually super excited for this one)
anthropology (which I'm also really excited for)
at only 15 credits, this will be the smallest amount of credits I've taken pretty much since my first semester. BUT the classes are going to be harder, I think.
Anyway, that's whats going on in my life right now.
Just trying to keep my head above water.
Cross your fingers for me!
also, yesterday, this boy left to be all manly and firefighter-y for the next six months. I accept donations of chocolate and coupons to G's dairy
the way I get answers to my prayers is not the way I want to get answers. Most of the time, I don't really even feel like I get an answer. Even when I say, "here is my solution, please help me to know if it's the right thing to do," I feel like the Lord waits for me to actually do that thing, and then He lets me know if it's right or wrong. Sometimes this doesn't even happen for a long time though so...I get frustrated. I like being in control and I like feeling like I have everything under control.
So with the bajillion and a half options I had for this fall, I decided very VERY last minute to stay in Rexburg. This was around the time my apartment complex manager emailed us all saying she was completely booked for fall AND after registration had already been open for a week (aka all of the classes were taken and registration is a nightmare.) I decided to register for fast grad, meaning I'll be going to school year round from here on out, and will graduate December 2012.
Well, saturday morning I woke up and decided I was going to stay here in the fall.
On saturday I filed a housing contract on my way out of town and slipped it under the office door.
On sunday I planned out a hundred different registration scenarios/grad plans.
On monday I camped out in the advising office and did everything short of threatening phsical violence to get someone to meet with me.
I spent close to five hours going back and forth to different offices, meeting with advisors and getting the proper forms signed. They told me it would be two to four weeks for my fast grad to be approved. A few hours later, I got an email saying it had been approved. I registered for classes and got all of the ones I needed.
On tuseday I got a call from my apartment manager, letting me know a spot had opened up for me, that I could stay in my same apartment and live with my friends.
I don't know why or how all of this is working out so well. I have to get a loan, which scares me, but I know I'm making the right choice in staying. I don't know why though.
I had to give up my photography minor, which I love, to have two health science clusters so that I can fulfill all the prerequisites for getting into grad school to study occupational therapy.
It's going to be a rough year and a half, but I'm proud of myself for getting this all under control. Even though BYUI tried to knock me down, I am fighting back! Knowing that I'm on track to make a difference in peoples' lives is so exciting!
so I took my first "real" engagements a few weeks ago.
I've really debated putting any of them up.
The light was too bright when we went out (I should have known better) and I really just don't think they show what I am capable of as a photographer.
I know I can do better.
Anyway, here are some that I thought were ok.
It's hard because I know I'm better than this and I don't want people to think I'm just a "mom-tographer" who doesn't know squat about lighting and never takes her camera off of the auto settings.
Photo is a tough business. In any case, Matt and Wendy were fun to work with! Fun and obviously in love and willing to do all the crazy things I asked them to, which may or may not have included trespassing.
I just got back from the temple and my heart is so full!
I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessing it is in my life. I'm grateful for the comfort and clarity it brings to my heart and mind.
With all the million other things I have to do every day, I still can't believe I let myself think that any one of them was more important than going to the temple. There is no replacement for the spirit in that building.
I know that I am a child of Heavenly parents, who love me more than I can fathom and want me to return to live with them one day.
I know my Savior lives.
This song was in my head the whole time I was there, and this video happens to have a lot of pictures from Rexburg in it.