Saturday, June 20, 2009


Everything went great yesterday, thanks to everyone who kept me in their prayers. I don't remember much about the surgery-- I was supposed to swallow the scope while I was still awake but I told the doctor I didn't think I could do it and he was really nice and put me to sleep before me. And that was the last thing I remember before waking up three hours later! 
The people at this hospital (EIRMAC, in IF) were a LOT nicer than the people at Madison Memorial. If I have to go back to get another iron transfusion, I'm going to EIRMAC. 
So now we wait about a week for a definite diagnosis and then I'll meet with a dietician! Eating gluten free is a little hard, but it's fun when I can find new things that taste good:)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


So. For the last few years I've been having this really weird mysterious abdominal pain that 5 CDA doctors continually mis-diagnose as. . . ovarian cysts. . . pulled muscle. . . and various other WRONG things. Well I got to rexburg and FINALLY found out what it is! The doctor here on campus is like 95% sure I have Celiac Disease, which is an allergy/intolerance to gluten. Everything has gluten in it. EVERYTHING has gluten in it! So. . . scene-- I'm at his office and he basically tells me "You have celiac disease. Bye." So I went home and called my mom and my dad and they both said i should go and buy gluten free food. Which is what I did. It was a pretty big shock and I definitely cried a lot, but I gave all of my gluten-full food to my roommates and hit up the health food section at Broulims. But then, my mom called him the next morning and he told her that I should eat like I have been until they can do a biopsy of my small intestine. BIOSPY! That's surgery!
 So blah blah blah mom picked me up and I spent last weekend in Logan, friday night in IF at Patti and Nathan's, then went to a doctor in IF who FINALLY (this is doctor number SIX, mind you) decides to do something about my iron, as well. Yesterday I went to the hospital at 1:30 to get an iron infusion that they told me would take two hours and I would be out by 4 at the latest. WRONG! I finally get checked in at 2 and they take me to some pediatric room so amanda and I stole a whole bunch of candy and stickers :) About 2:30 they came in and put the IV needle in my arm, but still no iron. About 3 they transfered me to a room with a TV, which was nice. 3:45 rolls around and they FINALLY hooked me to the bag of iron, which looked more like motor oil or pepsi syrup or espresso or something. Well after about an hour, which is supposed to be halfway through, we made the observation that there wasn't very much of the stuff gone out of the bag. A few minutes later the nurse comes in and says "Whoops, we lied! We usually don't give this much to people, so it's going to be four hours instead of two!"
kill me
So I suffered through four more hours of my arm feeling like it was falling off (one of the nurses nicely bumped up the speed with which it was going in, which was pretty fast and my arm hurt really bad), a few bites of hospital food (replaced by a smuggled sonic burger and tots), and eventually went home. 
They didn't tell me until they were taking the IV out that this thing has negative side affects. I felt like i'd been hit by a truck and left to die. Threw up the smuggled sonic burger and tots, had almost every blanket from my apartment on me, a fever of 102, and was shaking like a maraca in a mariachi band. So I had to miss school today, which I also missed monday from being in the doctor's office, and I have to miss friday for the surgery. So I'm pretty much going to fail all my classes, but at least now we know what's wrong with me, right?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

In the Mirror

I can't sleep. It's a disease I've recently acquired. Technically I just finished the homework I've been working on for the past 11 hours...gotta love those midterms:) Anyways, last night I couldn't sleep either and wrote down some...feelings. I'm wide awake now so here goes. PS: I realize the rhymes are pretty cheesey. I could make them more eloquent and refined, and maybe one day I will. But for now this is it's original, raw form.

In the mirror I thought I could see
What the world expected me to be.
But the mirror shows a disappointment to the world,
So much on the shoulders of one ordinary girl.
Not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, or strong,
Becoming bruised and broken as the world drags me along.

But now you'll be happy to hear it's true
I'm starting to see what I couldn't see in myself
through you.
I reach to you through the darkness that covers my eyes,
You hold me tight and dispel the dark, the fear, the lies.
I can't believe my eyes, I'm beginning to see
A beautiful girl in the mirror before me.