sorry

sorry for my little outburst in that last post

here's what up

prologue: I'm already stressed about school because I SHOULD only have three semesters left, but since I changed my major and then my minor, I have five, which puts me in undergrad school a year longer than I should be, before I even get to start grad school. 

Here's the thing.

Every time I've tried to make an appointment to talk to my assigned academic adviser, the students in the office wont let me--they tell me I just need to talk to them. So in talking to them, I asked if having a child development major and a photography minor would allow me to go to grad school for occupational therapy. Every time, they assured me that's all I needed to do.

Well, thursday night, in the midst of stressing about finals and packing and cleaning, I was looking on the U's website and stumbled upon the prerequisites for OT.

anatomy

physiology

statistics

chemisty

anthropology

sociology

abnormal physilogy

and about a hundred more classes I'm not smart enough to pass(except sociology, totally got a B+ this semester)/would have had to be doing the LAST 2 1/2 years to graduate in a timely manner. 

I'm so overwhelmed I just don't know what to do. This would add another year, if not more, onto my undergraduate schooling. And not only does BYUI make it impossible to transfer, they limit your credits so even with just my declared major and minor, I'm going to have to file a petition to stay my last 3 semesters. 

I know that technically, I could find a way to do it. It will take a million and half years, but it could probably be done. 

BUT

For all I grumble and complain about marriage, I just always thought I would get my schooling done as soon as possible so that I could start a family if/when that opportunity arises.
ALSO
I would have to give up photography, and I'm not willing to do that.

I feel really lost

Not in the "i don't know who I am anymore" sense, I know exactly who "I am" and I KNOW that the Lord has a specific plan for me, but I just...I don't know what to do.

Besides a brief cross country truck driver phase my sophomore year of high school, this is all I've ever wanted to do. 

Everyone has paradigm shifts and experiences that cause their dreams to change, but I've never had one brutally crushed like this. Completely annihilated.

So what do I do?