Maawige

In young woman's when they talk about dating, they never tell you that it's scary when you're old enough to date people who want to get married. There should be a lesson on that.

I was recently made the choice to not get married at this point in time and was told that I have a skewed idea of what love is and that I'm going to be disappointed in life. I don't think I do, but it's still a hard thing to hear. I mean, I don't think I do, but what if I do?

I'm going to be candid now. I broke up with the most awesome guy I've ever known. The perfect match for me. Take me, turn me into a boy who can play the guitar, is good at every sport, can drive a stick shift, and is a lot nicer, and there you have him. And to top it off, he was my best friend. Best. I didn't break up with him because getting married felt wrong, it just didn't feel so right.

I know it's silly since I'm still so young, but I'm afraid of not ever finding someone as good as him, who will love me as much. He set the bar so high and it's hard to imagine someone will be able to reach it. Plus I just miss him a lot. I've had to rely on the Lord so much these past few days, for the peace of heart and strength it's taken me to not start crying in random places. The middle of class, for instance. As hard as its been--as it still is--I just keep telling myself that the Lord knows what's going on, and that He has a plan for me.

"but if by a still, small voice he calls to paths that I do not know, I'll answer "dear Lord, with my hand in thine, I'll go where you want me to go"