down for the count

A few months ago, I posted about how life essentially punched me in the face.

Literally (and yes, I mean that in the truest sense of the word) yesterday, I finally got to the point where I felt like everything was on track and I was so so exited about the road I was on and the places I was going.

I went to an open house by the U (my grad school of choice) and was practically jumping around, I was so happy about starting grad school soon, albeit behind schedule.

And then, a few short hours ago, life punched me in the face.

Again.

It's pretty much the same thing as last time, more prerequisites to take. But this time...it's just too much.

I don't think I can get up from this one.
I keep breaking out in tears and I just want to quit functioning for a few days.
But I can't, because half the things in my anatomy & physiology class are over my head, I've got to fulfill my calling, and I have tests and papers and assignments piling up higher every day.

And what kills me about it, is that I have noble goals. I want to be an OT so that I can help people who are in some of the scariest situations of their lives. I want to work with kids with special needs to improve their quality of life!

So why can't I get a break?

blahg

I like to pretend that I have a lot of "readers" and people who actually care if I update my blahg.

So to you imaginary readers out there, I say sorry.

I'm taking smart people classes now AND just got called as the relief society president. One week into the semester and I've already had two major meltdowns.

Awesome.

Anyway, I have some cool pictures coming soon, I promise. I shot a few rolls of film that I'm REALLY excited about, so I'll have them up as soon as I develop and scan them. Also some more digital stuff soon :)

And until then, here are some pictures that I've taken not-so-recently but that I like a lot.

Enjoy

old stuff from my camera

Buildings in Teton. Fun to break into, if you don't mind getting the bird flu (ps: chances of ACTUALLY getting bird flu are significantly decreased if you DON'T throw the eggs from a dead bird into a live bird's nest, causing the live bird to attack you. *CoughNateCough*)

Exploring Teton

Paint pots in Yellowstone

Ye Old Yellerstone Transport

Oops, how did this get on here? :)

i want

I'm not saying this because I'm sad or depressed or angry or any of those things,

but more than almost anything in the world right now,

I want to be getting ready to go to Russia. 

I just want to go to Russia so bad!

I don't know what it is that ties me to Mother Russia, but that is where my heart is.

I can't explain it.

I was in the library the other day and found a book of pictures of the Romanovs (Tsar Nicolas and Alexandria) and it just made me heart ache!

Anyway

I'll have some fun pictures of my summer so far up soon.

oh mother

Me: My new ward is alright, except most of my friends moved. And [insert boy's name here] moved too, so...

Mom: So you can't date him?

Me: Eh, I wouldn't want to date him, he's too high maintenance for me.

Mom: You'd prefer to admire from a short distance?

Me: Yeah. I don't think he'd like to live with me on my farm. He probably wouldn't appreciate my milk cow or honeybees.

Mom: Or your chickens.

Me: Yeah. Or my goats! I decided I want to have goats too.

Mom: Goats?? You can't eat a goat!

I love you Mom :)

fourth of jew-lie

This weekend was great!

I had a serious boatload of homework to catch up on this weekend. I thought "not a problem. Nate will be home monday, I'll do homework all day sunday and be ready to hang out all day monday."

not so.

Nate came home sunday afternoon! He came over to my apartment and asked me and Janessa, "what are you girls doing tonight?"

The smart answer would have been "homework" but we are not smart and said, "nothing!"

So we ended up going to Tetonia with Nate and his best friend Nathan.

Tetonia was GORGEOUS. I could be happy living there, I think. We slept at Nathan's aunt's house Sunday night (I say "slept" but two and a half hours is more like a nap. We had fun roasting marshmallows and stargazing and talking and laughing and playing phase 10 though, so it was worth it) and monday got up at five and drove to Driggs for the hot air balloon show.

They ended up canceling the show because the weather wasn't good for ballooning, but we got to talk with some really cool people! The guy getting jumped by the horse is Ernie. Ernie is pretty legit. Speaking of legit, as much as I love my (Phil's) camera, I felt pretty un-legit in that crowd with my Nikon D70. After the 3 millionth Cannon 5D Mark II, the handful of Nikon D700's and all of the L series lenses I saw, I just kept my head down and tried to snap pictures without anyone noticing what camera I was using.

Anyway, we had our own tailgate breakfast on the sailboat in the back of Nathan's truck

And cheered for the one brave soul who sent his balloon up

After that we started driving out toward Palisaides and the group indulged my photographer weirdness and stopped so I could explore this old school house.

Once we got to the Palisaides, we were all pretty pooped, so we took a little nap in the truck, then put the sailboat in!

(if you've made it this far, congratulations and pat yourself on the back! Sorry, this is almost over. It was a long day!)

The weather was gross and rainy so only the boys went sailing.

Then it was back to rexburg for shower, food, homework in rapid succession, and we were off to idaho falls for the "biggest firework show west of the mississippi" (pish posh)

It was good, I missed watching fireworks over Lake Coeur d'Alene, though.

Getting home was crazy, obviously, and involved some near accidents (including, but not limited to, nate almost falling out the back of Ali's car), but we finally made it!

And that was my independence day!

I seriously love this holiday, when the fireworks were booming and "Proud to be an American" was blasting...God bless the USA.

plan B

I'm a planner. 

I've killed about a billion and a half trees (give or take) this semester alone writing out grad scenarios, to-do lists, pro/con lists...things like that. 

So plan A for me is graduating BYU-I fall 2012 and then going to grad school at (fingers crossed) the University of Utah. 

however

I've recently decided on a plan B that actually seems a lot more appealing than my plan A. Probably because I've already been in school for (what seems like) forever and I still have (what seems like) forever left.

I digress.

Here's my plan B:

I want to move into a cute little farmhouse cottage-like place. Preferably close to or in the middle of the woods. 

I want at least half an acre for a food garden. Flowers I will plant everywhere else.

I want a little barn. Inside it will be one milk cow and some chickens.

I want bees, which I will keep a little way away from the barn.*

I want to be barefoot all the time and take pictures of my farm that are good enough to sell and everyone will want to buy.

I realize this makes me sound like a total hippy, but I don't care. 

It's what I want!

*There was a one day long, non credited "beekeeping for beginners" class that was offered here this spring. I didn't get it because I didn't understand how the system worked. I know the system now. I'm totally crossing my fingers that they offer it again in the fall! If they do, I'm SO all over that!

ps: two days is a really long time. Six months is a whole heck of a lot longer :\