happy halloween!

Rebekah Westover

Not the subject of my blog :

I've wanted to write this particular blog for a while, but have been afraid that I'm going to come off whiney and pathetic. So I just want to say from the beginning, that's not my purpose.

Subject:

I've never been one to think and plan ahead about wedding details. But this last semester, having two roommates and my best friend planning weddings all for the same day, I was almost constantly up to my eyeballs in wedding details and, consequentially, thought more about MY wedding.

Even after all that, I still don't have my dress picked out or know what my colors are going to be.

There's actually only one thing I know for sure I want, and that is my photographer: Rebekah Westover. She's amazing. She's fantastic. As such, she's also very expensive.

(I would have liked to post pictures so you, too, could bask in the glory of her awesomeness, but I didn't have permission, so I didn't)

I gave you the links to my two favorite weddings that she did.

These literally make my heart ache because they are so beautiful.

Wedding #1

aka my favorite wedding EVER. Look. At. It.

Wedding #2

I started having heart palpitations the first time I looked through their bridals. For real.

So the part that might come off whiney is this: 

I NEED Rebekah Westover to photograph my wedding.

It is the only thing I care about in life.

{Ok, not really, but I hope now you understand how much I want for this to happen}

I don't know if the magic lies in the fact that she is just a wizard with a camera and she makes everyone she shoots look like a movie star slash super model (probable), or that the only people who can afford her are that elite group of beautiful rich people who I aspire to be a part of but in reality...probably never will. I think it's a combination of the two. 

I don't need a poolside wedding with a Bentley to drive away in.

I don't need all my groomsmen to be in impeccably tailored Ann Taylor suits.

But I DO need Rebekah Westover to photograph my wedding. 

I just want it to happen.

photography

I wish I could articulate how much I want to be a GREAT photographer. Lately I'm completely inspired by photographers I love, such as Rebekah Westover, Ryan Muirhead, and Chris Porsz. Their skillz are great.

In an effort to be better, I've been trying to shoot with film rather than digital.

Holy COW, ladies and gentlemen, it is one of the scariest things I've ever done! I never realized how much of a security blanket my digital cameras are.

I've also come to realize that this is why there's such a boom in the photography bidness lately, because it's so much easier to take a good picture when you can take a billion and only use three that you can edit in a snap (digital) as opposed to taking two dozen at a time, spending ten dollars to get them developed, and finding that only one or two actually turned out (film).

However, the ones that DO turn out...it's a great sense of accomplishment!

So today I developed my first roll of film.

Oh man. Most stunk, like this one:

But the ones that did turn out, though they were only ok, as opposed to being great...it's a start. The fact that they're in focus is enough for me, for now. Since my shutter speed was too slow most of the time, this was actually a greater accomplishment than you'd think. Or maybe not. Anyway...

And though it's going to take a lot of effort to get to where I'd like to be, I'm excited for the journey!

Here are some of my favorite digital shots I've taken lately :)

work

first of all, I think there's some weird full moon tonight that made all of the middle-schoolers turn into werewolves today

second, this conversation was the best way to start the day

Me: Hey Miguel! How are you today?

Miguel: I'm good, dog!

to my friend

I don't know if you still read my blog, or if you even remember saying this (since I'm pretty sure you said it at about 3am), but I wonder if you will ever know how much it has helped me when you told me:

"The mirror never lies, it tells you exactly how it is, at face value. but the mirror doesn't tell you the whole truth... it doesn't tell you whats on the inside.. or what makes that person looking into it what he/she really is..."

Thanks for being my friend

employed!

I have a job!

For those of you who don't know, this last week was my first at Mount Logan Middle School, working as an aide in their special needs class room and I  LOVE IT!!

I honestly can't believe I'm getting paid to do something that I love so much! I only wish I could work for more than three hours a day.

Seriously. I'm in heaven.

My typical day goes a little like:

12:00- get to school

kids get back from lunch. Help them brush teeth. Read some books.

12:15- work with my main girl Isabel on something like counting money, calculator math, sorting, or telling time. One day this last week I spent this who hour in the speech room helping the teacher and about five different kids from the class.

1:00- take Isabel and Charlee (aka "my girls") to PE. Charlee can't walk without a walker and consequently hates to walk, so during PE she and I usually sit on the grass and collect sticks while Isabel goes and plays with the rest of the class

1:50- This hour kind of varies, depending on the day, but the majority of the time I go with another aide, Zach, and take his boys to keyboarding.

2:50- Get the kiddos ready to go and on the bus!

So that's pretty much how my days go! I completely love it :) I wish I could take some pictures of my girls to show you how beautiful they are, but that's against the rules :\ 

Isabel is in the 7th grade, but is a teeny thing and looks like she's about 9 or 10. She's a total little firecracker and makes me laugh all the time--and she's so stinking smart! She can't talk very well, but between signing and talking, we manage to talk and joke most of the day.

Also, she has trouble walking, but is mostly ok unless we have to go down stairs. Then I'm supposed to hold on to the back of her shirt, but she's FIERCELY independent and growls and tries to jerk away from me. Pretty much we're best friends unless we're going down a set of stairs or i'm trying to get her to do work.

so...that's my job and I love it!

ps: It's my secret goal to have Isabel like me better than any of the other aides. I'll keep you updated on that :)