Hailee Renee

questions/answers

2012-03-09T15:40:00.001-07:00

So there's this blog I read written by the cutest girl on the planet, Lauren.

Sometimes I've been heard to say, "Oh, I read on my friend's blog the other day..." totally in reference to Lauren, whom I've never met.

Not creepy at all, right?

Nope, nope not at all!

But anyway.

She asked these questions on her blog and so I thought I'd answer them on my blog :)

[1] What is your favorite book in the whole world? And if you don't read books (sad), what is your favorite magazine?

I love to read. Love love LOVE books! My all-time favorite book, though, is Ella Enchanted.

I remember once when I finished the last page, then flipped to the front and immediately started it again. I've owned three copies because the first two got worn out from reading them so much!

I don't think I've read it since being in college though, it's definitely time!

[2] What is your favorite color to paint on your nails?

I reeeeeeaaaaaally dislike painting my nails because if they get one little chip in them then I pick at all the rest of them. BUT. This summer I bought a nice neutral purpley-gray color called "Chinchilly" by Essie that I love love love!!

I like to keep my toes painted though, so they're usually some shade of pink :)

[3] If you were on death row (hope none of you ever will be) what would you request as your last meal?

Haha funnily enough, I was thinking about this the other day. Well, not a "last meal" thing, but like a "if I only had x-amount of time to live, what would I eat," because I think about these things. In either scenario, it would be non-gluten-free things. I never appreciated the texture that gluten gives to things until I was diagnosed with celiac disease, but I guess that's how life is.

You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

I would eat two things. First, the double bacon cheeseburger from Zips (a fastfood chain of diner food in the Inland Northwest) that is so greasy and delicious, I would probably die from deliciousness before they kill me. Second would be my mom's homemade rolls.

Because seriously you guys, Mommy makes the very best rolls on the planet. Say otherwise and I will literally fight you.

Oh, and I would have a steak from Wolf Lodge, a steak house in Coeur d'Alene.

And a throwback Mt. Dew to wash it all down!

[4] Who would you volunteer for if someone you loved was selected for the Hunger Games?

My little brothers and my nieces are who immediately come to mind, though none of them are old enough to be entered into the reaping. But of course I would volunteer for them, without a second thought.

[5] Describe your first crush and whether it was unrequited or not.

Oh gosh. Jacob Burgess. He kissed me in kindergarten on the circle rug and I was smitten for the next seven years, even after I moved across state lines from Spocompton to Coeur d'Alene when I was 10.

I remember the valentine's day of 4th grade. He made me a pot and painted it blue (my then-favorite color) with yellow flowers and brought that over with a little heart box of chocolates. That right there is puppy love y'all.

I was seriously still so in love with him, even after I'd lived in CDA for a few years. I must have been about 12 by the time it faded.

I think when I was like 15 or 16 I saw him at a stake dance in Spokane...that was fun.

He's married now!

And I'm an old BYU-I spinster ;)

is this real life?

2012-02-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life punches you in the face and sits on top of you for a while.

Other times, life surprises you by being pretty darn awesome!

A few weeks ago, Janessa told me about an open house being given by Salus University (the PA school in Philadelphia that she was recently accepted to) and how she heard that they're going to start an occupational therapy program soon. I've been planning on going to grad school at the U for years though, so I was a little close-minded about other schools.

So I went to this open house, and stayed after to talk with some of the directors. Mostly I talked with Dr. Di Stefano, the vice president of student affairs. He gave me his card and told me to email him for more information, but after we had talked for a while he handed me another card and had me write down my name and email address so that he could make sure I got the information I needed. I emailed him a few days later and he said that he remembered me and told me that he'd been very impressed with me! He asked me to email him my resume, which he said he'd share with the director of the OT program, Dr. Gillard.

Well

I hadn't heard anything from them in two weeks, so I was planning on emailing Dr. Gillard myself to let them know I was serious about their program. Thursday afternoon I got an email from her saying she'd seen my resume and was very impressed and that she would stay in touch with me and personally inform me when more information about their program was available! I emailed her this morning, letting her know I'd received her email, thanked her for looking at my resume, and told her I was excited to talk with her more.

AND SHE EMAILED ME BACK TONIGHT!

AND...

She gave me her phone number!!

AND

She told me to call her ANY TIME!

AND

the prerequisites to get into Salus are MUCH less intense than the U (read: no more math classes! No physics!) so I will be graduating this December instead of next April!

Sometimes life is good :)

weekend

2012-02-22T18:38:00.004-07:00

This last weekend, I had the most fun I've had in a REALLY long time! I think every weekend of college should be like the last one.

Seriously.

It was the long weekend, so my and Janessa's old roommate* Ali came up from Provo to visit us. That was fun enough.
Friday night, pretty much the second after Al got here, we went to dinner at the best eating establishment Rexburg has to offer--the taco bus (the one by the roundabout, obviously. The other one is a sad, weak imitation of this one.)
Anyway.
(can you tell I got these pictures from the facebook? haha)

After consuming five times the daily recommended value of...well, calories in general, we headed home to digest.
Which didn't last long, because we were soon on our way to one of the most glorious places on this earth, G's Dairy Delights! Love me some G's!

To round off a night of adventure, the three of us and some other friends went hot tubbing somewhere and just talked about a lot of things (some funny, some serious) and had a blast. I think I probably have a six-pack now, I was laughing so hard the whole night! We went to bed at like five that night. That was...fun.
(According to Al, this is called a "selfie." She's high-falutin now that she moved to provo, where there are more than 5 options for restaurants and half of those aren't inside old school buses. Whatev.)

On Saturday Janessa and I did homework most of the day. At night we went to a concert at Sammy's with our friends McCade and Erick. (Janessa and I got a lemon cupcake shake which was insanely disappointing).
(The guys were REALLY excited to be in this picture, obviously)

Followed by dinner at Applebee's.

This night there was this huge snowstorm, pretty much the first of the winter, so later that night we went tubing ~~behind a friend's truck~~.

We came through a little worse for the wear, but it was fun.

So that happened.

Sunday night Mom and Phil came to hear my fireside, it was neat to have them there.

Monday we went out to breakfast and just chilled and had an easy day.

Now it's back to school, my second week of teaching, and lots and lots of stress.

It was a good weekend.

Every weekend should be like this.

*Mine and Janessa's roommate? *Janessa's and my roommate? I worried over this for like five minutes and I still have no clue what the right one is.

If you know what it is, don't tell me...I already feel bad enough about myself.

Oh well.

a story

2012-02-14T18:21:00.002-07:00

Once upon a time, probably somewhere around last thursday, five-ish of the kids from my preschool class were the only ones outside during outdoor play (we usually share the playground with two other classes).

During this time, I pretended to be a pirate and let them chase me.

In hindsight, this was a mistake.

Today, I went outside again and was immediately assaulted by the same kids from my class.

But, being preschoolers, about a go-jillion (it's a word, my dad and I use it all the time) kids from the other classes followed suit, started screaming like a herd of feral banshees, and chased me around for approximately seventeen hours while I ran away screaming about how I don't want to go to jail because they don't have...

popsicles.

Whatever, don't judge me.

I would occasionally let them catch me and put me in jail, only to escape a few seconds later.

Followed by banshees screaming,

"Teacher! Teacher! I'm going to get you!"

"No pirates here!"
"I'm a pirate too! Get me!"
"Teacher wait, I'm on your side!"
"Get her! Get the pirate!"

"There are lots of popsicles in jail!"

Oh, also, at one point, there were about a hundred thousand of these "police officers" ~~dragging~~ escorting me back to jail, when all of a sudden I feel one little hand up the back of my shirt and I have to find an appropriate way to say,

"Um...let's keep our hands out of teacher's shirt..."

Happy valentine's day :)

Psalm 23

2012-02-05T23:46:00.002-07:00

Twice in my life I've had the privilege of singing a different arrangement of the 23rd Psalm, and both times it has had a different meaning, depending on my situation in life and the trials I was (am) going through at the time.

The first time was in my senior year of high school--I was in the Idaho All-State Women's Choir in Pocatello and the song was entitled, appropriately, Psalm 23. Singing it in rehearsals was emotional for me when I reflected on the words, but when we were finally performing it in the concert, I burst out in tears right on the stage as the song came to its climax and we sang,

"Surely goodness and mercy will follow me.

And in the house of the Lord,

I will dwell forever, I'll dwell forever!

Lauda! Lauda!"

I remember feeling so loved by my Savior that I just couldn't contain all that love and joy. Hence the tears.

Now I'm in a choir called From the Heart. We sing pretty awesome spiritual songs. We're singing one right now called, "Brother James' Air." It's pretty much my favorite song of our program.

(Backstory: the choir went on retreat in Island Park this weekend (fear not, separate cabins for ladies and gents) and sang and sang and sang until we had our songs learned.)

One thing I love most about FTH is when people offer personal insight about the songs we're singing.
One thing someone shared about this song on retreat was its message about the atonement, and how, if we trust in the Savior and align our will with His, we need not fear.

We don't have to be afraid of anything.

"Yea, though I pass through shadow's death

yet will I fear no ill.

For Thou art with me, and Thy rod

and staff me comfort still.

Rod and staff.

Comfort still.

Comfort still."

Sometimes when I'm praying for guidance through a trial, I'll receive an answer, and I'll know what it is the Lord wants me to do;

but many times I lack the faith to believe that if I do what I'm prompted, things will turn out alright.

In my head, I know that the Lord won't let us walk in the dark long before he lights the way ahead, but I have a hard time applying it to myself, especially in the past few weeks.

This weekend I was strongly reminded of this and my testimony of my Saviors love for me and mindfulness of all of His children as individuals was strengthened in a way that I've been searching for in weeks past, but haven't been able to find.
I'm more grateful than I can say for the examples of my fellow choir members, and their willingness to share the things they feel when touched upon by the spirit.
"Goodness and mercy all my days will surely follow me,
and in my Father's heart alway, my dwelling place shall be"

hurt

2012-01-29T18:36:00.001-07:00

my heart hurts. I need hugs and validation.

I know it's a lame, vague thing to put on a blog--only about half a step up as having it as my facebook status, but...it is what it is.

For those of you who actually read this--be my friend. hug me. validate me. tell me that I did the right thing.

preschool

2012-01-24T16:15:00.001-07:00

Today I taught preschool as the lead teacher for the first time! Let me tell you, boys and girls, it was scary but one of the most fun things I've ever done! I loved it!

I got about two hours of sleep last night (punctuated by preschool-teaching nightmares--yikes!)

I feel (and look) like I've been living in the dumpster behind Craigo's for a week and a half. (and I was thus spotted by an ex-boyfriend--the horror!).

But I am so happy!

First of all, because L. Tom Perry was the devotional speaker here in Rexburg today. That was neat.

Second of all, because I get the opportunity to work one-on-one with a little boy here in town who maybe has some sensory issues and needs a little bit of extra love!!!

I've been so bummed that we don't have any special needs kids in our preschool class, and this boy has not been specified as having any special needs, but this just makes my heart so happy!

Ever since I worked in the special needs classroom at Mount Logan Middle School (fall 2010), I've been aching for some similar kids to work with!

I love this kind of work.

I think my favorite part of preschool is, any time we leave the classroom, we have to hold the children's hands until we get to our destination.
That is my favorite part!
I guess it may seem weird to most people, but I love the feeling of those pudgy little baby hands in mine.
It's definitely the best :)

typical

2012-01-17T22:10:00.001-07:00

Tonight was fun.

After watching a bazillion hours of Prison Break (typical),

Janessa (my roommate/BFF here in rexburg) and I got studious and did some homework (typical. ish).

Then we decided we needed to work out (typical for Janessa, nooooot so much for me. I'm making an effort though),

so we did a little cardio, then popped in our Jillian Michaels DVD (six week six pack!)

yelled at Jillian a LOT (typical of us when we engage in this sort of activity),

then Janessa made us a healthy smoothie to share (typical)

and I watched while wolfing down a spoonful of nutella (typical).

Back to homework now.

blehh

ALSO, today was my first day of being a preschool teacher and I LOVED it!! Nothing too eventful happened, but this conversation was my favorite of the day.

H: "Teacher, teacher! We had to go to the hospital yesterday!"

Me: "Oh no! What happened?"

H: "I stuck something in my ear."

I love preschoolers :)

From the Heart

2012-01-12T21:40:00.003-07:00

This semester I tried out and made it into a choir called "From the Heart." It's a choir run by and made up of students from here at BYU-I. They sing at firesides on campus and travel around at the end of the semester for a weekend and go on tour somewhere in or close-ish to Idaho.

Tonight was our first rehearsal and, though we did mostly introductory things and only sang for about twenty minutes, my heart is just so full. I don't even think I have the words to explain it right now, I'll try to explain later maybe :) For now, just listen to this song we're going to sing. It's called "Here is Hope"
Guys. I want this solo.

Another song that I think is going to be my favorite is called "Jesus, My Savior." The last few lines are,

All of my life, yea, all of my days,

still not enough to sing thy praise.

This pretty much sums up my feelings as of late.

I've missed being in a real choir, it's been far too long. And one like this, where our main goal is to invite the spirit...I'm just so grateful and so excited.

Goodbye 2011

2012-01-10T14:55:00.005-07:00

2011 has been a really interesting year for me. Here are some of the things I've done (in the order that I can think of them):

-I took my first trip to Park City and didn't take nearly enough pictures.

-I restored my grandpa's camera from 1948 by looking at it for about a million hours (give or take three) and pushing every button the same amount of times to discover what they do. I also cleaned that camera with cotton swabs. Obsessive? Absolutely.

-I went to two funerals in one week, each for grandparents on different sides of the family. -I sang at both those funerals.
-I promptly vowed to never sing at another funeral again.

-I photographed my grandpa's funeral with the aforementioned camera, which he used while he was serving in the Korean war.

-I started going to school year-round and, after year one (a year and a half of school done over 10 months), I want to poke my eyes out with those little swords that are sometimes in sandwiches and/or fruity drinks.

-I got called as relief society president and had the biggest melt-down to date. Take all the melt-downs I've had in the middle of all six previous finals, combine them, multiply them by the power of a thousand suns, and that was this meltdown. I hope you get the point by now that it was bad.

-I got over my feelings of inadequacy and did a fair job in my calling.

-I drove an hour in the middle of the night to go hot-tubbing at a place that, upon arrival, was closed for maintenance, but got to know the people in the car really well.
-I got a new niece!
-I got accepted to go to Russia, again, and had to turn it down, again, and my heart broke, again.
-I got my car stuck in a hole in a field in the middle of Idaho Falls...yeah...

-I got better at shooting film, especially medium format, which I love. I LOVE medium format film!
-I shot a lot of guns, yo. A lot of guns.

-I didn't take nearly enough pictures.
-I learned how to talk about my feelings without my brain shutting down. This is a big, big thing for me.

-I met and talked to some really cool hot-air ballooners!

-I took some really cool pictures in some really neat places. I think the Pallisaides was my favorite.
-I had two people pay me to take their engagement pictures. This taught me a lot of things, like not to let clients walk all over you, and that everyone is happier when you stay true to your own style. I also decided to take a break from that kind of photography, and I'm not sure I've completely recovered yet!!

-I bought ~~three~~ four new cameras and coveted a lot, LOT more cameras.

-I lost touch with some friends that I used to think I couldn't live with out. Turns out I can. It stinks, but I can. Who would've thought?

-I made some amazing, amazing friends that I hope I never lose touch with.
-I TOUCHED A CADAVER! One that has been at BYUI for 10+ years!! I HATED touching the cadavers and did it as little as possible

And that's a little bit about my 2011.

2012 is already shaping up to be a big, big year!
I'm working in the preschool on campus, which, contrary to how it sounds, is going to be my very most stressful class. My first lesson plan is due tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm doing! The kids start coming on Thursday though, and I'm so excited for that :)
Also, I tried out for a fireside choir on Sunday and yesterday I made it to the first round of callbacks! We get the final word sometime tonight and I don't think the butterflies in my stomach will go away until then. (UPDATE: I MADE IT IN!! More to come on this later)
2012 will also bring:
-Three more semesters of school
-The GRE
-Grad school applications
So those things all have to do with school...I don't know what else 2012 will hold, but I'm excited to see :)

oh brother

2011-12-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

Don't I have the most handsome little brothers?

I agree

failing

2011-12-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

I'm done with the fall semester and I couldn't be happier! Going to school year round is really starting to drain the life out of me. I did get all A's this semester with the exception of a B in anatomy and physiology, but for someone who's been taking finger painting and nap-taking classes for the last three years of college, I count this among my successes (don't take it away from me, I don't have that many).

So I'm home(ish) in Logan with the apartment all to myself while Mom and Phil spend a few days in Park City (to be joined by the rest of us on Wednesday).

I thought this alone time would be good to unwind from the last week of 4-hour-long nights of sleep and the last three months of living with five other girls...

but today was just a big gigantic fail.

1. I fail at watering the Christmas tree

First of all, we have a real tree for the first time in my life (that I can remember, which is the important thing). When mom talked to me about it--while I was still in Rexburg--she sounded completely in love with this tree.

"You need to water it every morning at 9:03 sharp with one of those big plastic glasses full of 3/4 water and the rest orange pedialyte with some vitamin D and omega 3's mixes in or he gets kind of fussy. You must also sing. "Oh Christmas Tree" is his favorite."

At least I think that's what she said.

Anyway, I shimmied under the tree my first morning here and started dumping water in the base, but the water level reached the top and hasn't gone down since, so I'm thinking I put the water in the wrong place, and I'm too scared to call my mom and ask what I did wrong.

2. I fail at being productive

There was absolutely no chance of going Christmas shopping in Rexburg, a) because it was finals time and I was too busy, and b) because...come on. It's rexburg. Where would I get Christmas presents? CAL ranch? The Walmart? Family Dollar? So I made up a list of everything I needed to buy/make and planned to get it all done before I left for Park City. So, today and tomorrow. Did I get anything done today? Why no, no I did not. Tomorrow is going to be greaaaaat.

3. I fail at something reeeeeaaallly embarrassing

So...those of you who know me well, know what kind of hair I have. Tons. Tons of super frizzy, high maintenance hair. For the most part, I've learned to manage it.

My hair does wonderful in Boise, it blows dry in about 5 minute's work with a round brush and I don't even have to straighten it and it's silky and shiny and soft.

Rexburg is slightly worse, it takes a while, but blowing it dry and straightening it usually does the trick.

Logan, Utah hates my hair. Or my hair hates Logan. Take your pick.

It takes EONS to blow dry and an equally long, boring time to straighten, after which I still resemble Medusa's slightly better looking, slightly snake-less sister.

This morning I mustered up the productivity to take a shower, and upon blowing my hair dry, I realize that it feels really weird.

The conclusion that I've come to is that

a) My hair is rebelling against being in Logan

b) I didn't wash all of the conditioner out.

So either way...I failed at washing my hair. This should be a basic functioning skill for a 21-year-old college senior, right?

And I thought I'd made so much progress folding that fitted sheet on Saturday...

women

2011-11-21T21:57:00.001-07:00

"The battle should not be over individual women finding equality, but womanhood, and those characteristics that make it unique, finding equality. Equality for all womanhood, not individuals. Women shouldn't have to become like men to make a difference in this world."

Carol Gilligan

(emphasis added by me, Hailee)

going home

2011-11-15T17:48:00.000-07:00

going home going home going home going home going home

I'm going home* on friday and taking Nate with me! And Erin will be there too! And Will and Jessy! And my babies Lexi and Paisley! And mommy! And Phil! And my cousins!

I have two huge tests to take before I leave and another one to take the day after I get back and homework to do and I'm TRYING to concentrate, but there's this constant buzzing in the back of my mind saying

going home going home going home going home going home

*when I say home, I don't mean Coeur d'Alene, where I WISH home was, but to Logan where my parents and Will and Jessy live. Which is starting to feel a little bit like home. But still isn't my Coeur d'Alene.

today

2011-11-12T10:25:00.002-07:00

Today I miss my Grandpa

remember remember the sixth of november?

2011-11-06T19:15:00.001-07:00

When you date long-distance, pretty much all of your "pictures together" look like this:

Seriously, Nate and I have been dating for six months and have one legitimate picture together, and that stinks. Something is wrong here people! For someone who owns upwards of 10 cameras, you'd think there would be massive amounts of picture taking going on.
Nope.
Mostly just screen shots.

Someone fast forward to January. Go.

AAAAANYWAY

It snowed here on Friday night, so on Saturday I felt justified in making the most bomb christmas music playlist EVER and listening to it while I did homework.

Until they make a genre of music that is legitimately classifiable as "thanksgiving music," I reserve the right to listen to christmas music starting the day after halloween.

the end.

one month down

2011-10-12T22:56:00.000-06:00

I wish I had a lot of time to blog something really cool and tell how my life is going.

But I don't.

That's coming sometime in the not too distant future.

I hope :)

ANYWAY, I will just let you know of my desire for it to be after thanksgiving so that I can listen to the forgotten carols,

and watch little women

and a christmas story

and white christmas

and christmas in connecticut

all day every day.

that's all.

the end

oh, and a sneak peek of some pictures I have yet to edit.

Paisley Jane, swinging in a swing like she's a big kid and stuff
:)

down for the count

2011-09-22T13:53:00.002-06:00

A few months ago, I posted about how life essentially punched me in the face.

Literally (and yes, I mean that in the truest sense of the word) yesterday, I finally got to the point where I felt like everything was on track and I was so so exited about the road I was on and the places I was going.

I went to an open house by the U (my grad school of choice) and was practically jumping around, I was so happy about starting grad school soon, albeit behind schedule.

And then, a few short hours ago, life punched me in the face.

Again.

It's pretty much the same thing as last time, more prerequisites to take. But this time...it's just too much.

I don't think I can get up from this one.
I keep breaking out in tears and I just want to quit functioning for a few days.
But I can't, because half the things in my anatomy & physiology class are over my head, I've got to fulfill my calling, and I have tests and papers and assignments piling up higher every day.

And what kills me about it, is that I have noble goals. I want to be an OT so that I can help people who are in some of the scariest situations of their lives. I want to work with kids with special needs to improve their quality of life!

So why can't I get a break?

blahg

2011-09-17T21:31:00.005-06:00

I like to pretend that I have a lot of "readers" and people who actually care if I update my blahg.

So to you imaginary readers out there, I say sorry.

I'm taking smart people classes now AND just got called as the relief society president. One week into the semester and I've already had two major meltdowns.

Awesome.

Anyway, I have some cool pictures coming soon, I promise. I shot a few rolls of film that I'm REALLY excited about, so I'll have them up as soon as I develop and scan them. Also some more digital stuff soon :)

And until then, here are some pictures that I've taken not-so-recently but that I like a lot.

Enjoy

old stuff from my camera

2011-08-04T22:37:00.002-06:00

Buildings in Teton. Fun to break into, if you don't mind getting the bird flu (ps: chances of ACTUALLY getting bird flu are significantly decreased if you DON'T throw the eggs from a dead bird into a live bird's nest, causing the live bird to attack you. *CoughNateCough*)

Exploring Teton

Paint pots in Yellowstone

Ye Old Yellerstone Transport

Oops, how did this get on here? :)

i want

2011-08-02T00:02:00.000-06:00

I'm not saying this because I'm sad or depressed or angry or any of those things,

but more than almost anything in the world right now,

I want to be getting ready to go to Russia.

I just want to go to Russia so bad!

I don't know what it is that ties me to Mother Russia, but that is where my heart is.

I can't explain it.

I was in the library the other day and found a book of pictures of the Romanovs (Tsar Nicolas and Alexandria) and it just made me heart ache!

Anyway

I'll have some fun pictures of my summer so far up soon.

oh mother

2011-07-31T21:25:00.001-06:00

Me: My new ward is alright, except most of my friends moved. And [insert boy's name here] moved too, so...

Mom: So you can't date him?

Me: Eh, I wouldn't want to date him, he's too high maintenance for me.

Mom: You'd prefer to admire from a short distance?

Me: Yeah. I don't think he'd like to live with me on my farm. He probably wouldn't appreciate my milk cow or honeybees.

Mom: Or your chickens.

Me: Yeah. Or my goats! I decided I want to have goats too.

Mom: Goats?? You can't eat a goat!

I love you Mom :)

fourth of jew-lie

2011-07-05T20:41:00.000-06:00

This weekend was great!

I had a serious boatload of homework to catch up on this weekend. I thought "not a problem. Nate will be home monday, I'll do homework all day sunday and be ready to hang out all day monday."

not so.

Nate came home sunday afternoon! He came over to my apartment and asked me and Janessa, "what are you girls doing tonight?"

The smart answer would have been "homework" but we are not smart and said, "nothing!"

So we ended up going to Tetonia with Nate and his best friend Nathan.

Tetonia was GORGEOUS. I could be happy living there, I think. We slept at Nathan's aunt's house Sunday night (I say "slept" but two and a half hours is more like a nap. We had fun roasting marshmallows and stargazing and talking and laughing and playing phase 10 though, so it was worth it) and monday got up at five and drove to Driggs for the hot air balloon show.

They ended up canceling the show because the weather wasn't good for ballooning, but we got to talk with some really cool people! The guy getting jumped by the horse is Ernie. Ernie is pretty legit. Speaking of legit, as much as I love my (Phil's) camera, I felt pretty un-legit in that crowd with my Nikon D70. After the 3 millionth Cannon 5D Mark II, the handful of Nikon D700's and all of the L series lenses I saw, I just kept my head down and tried to snap pictures without anyone noticing what camera I was using.

Anyway, we had our own tailgate breakfast on the sailboat in the back of Nathan's truck

And cheered for the one brave soul who sent his balloon up

After that we started driving out toward Palisaides and the group indulged my photographer weirdness and stopped so I could explore this old school house.

Once we got to the Palisaides, we were all pretty pooped, so we took a little nap in the truck, then put the sailboat in!

(if you've made it this far, congratulations and pat yourself on the back! Sorry, this is almost over. It was a long day!)

The weather was gross and rainy so only the boys went sailing.

Then it was back to rexburg for shower, food, homework in rapid succession, and we were off to idaho falls for the "biggest firework show west of the mississippi" (pish posh)

It was good, I missed watching fireworks over Lake Coeur d'Alene, though.

Getting home was crazy, obviously, and involved some near accidents (including, but not limited to, nate almost falling out the back of Ali's car), but we finally made it!

And that was my independence day!

I seriously love this holiday, when the fireworks were booming and "Proud to be an American" was blasting...God bless the USA.

plan B

2011-06-30T22:22:00.001-06:00

I'm a planner.

I've killed about a billion and a half trees (give or take) this semester alone writing out grad scenarios, to-do lists, pro/con lists...things like that.

So plan A for me is graduating BYU-I fall 2012 and then going to grad school at (fingers crossed) the University of Utah.

however

I've recently decided on a plan B that actually seems a lot more appealing than my plan A. Probably because I've already been in school for (what seems like) forever and I still have (what seems like) forever left.

I digress.

Here's my plan B:

I want to move into a cute little farmhouse cottage-like place. Preferably close to or in the middle of the woods.

I want at least half an acre for a food garden. Flowers I will plant everywhere else.

I want a little barn. Inside it will be one milk cow and some chickens.

I want bees, which I will keep a little way away from the barn.*

I want to be barefoot all the time and take pictures of my farm that are good enough to sell and everyone will want to buy.

I realize this makes me sound like a total hippy, but I don't care.

It's what I want!

*There was a one day long, non credited "beekeeping for beginners" class that was offered here this spring. I didn't get it because I didn't understand how the system worked. I know the system now. I'm totally crossing my fingers that they offer it again in the fall! If they do, I'm SO all over that!

ps: two days is a really long time. Six months is a whole heck of a lot longer :\

okay

2011-06-27T18:27:00.002-06:00

okay. okay okay okay.

This semester is kicking my bum. If there is ever a semester that I get grades that would keep me out of grad school, this would be it. I feel more B's coming than I would ever like to see, but I'm fighting to keep my A's.

I have my schedule for next semester all set!

Anatomy and physiology (boo)

Family and community relations (ehh)

adolescent development (blehh)

medical terminology (I'm actually super excited for this one)

and

anthropology (which I'm also really excited for)

at only 15 credits, this will be the smallest amount of credits I've taken pretty much since my first semester. BUT the classes are going to be harder, I think.

Anyway, that's whats going on in my life right now.

Just trying to keep my head above water.

Cross your fingers for me!

also, yesterday, this boy left to be all manly and firefighter-y for the next six months. I accept donations of chocolate and coupons to G's dairy

answers to prayers

2011-06-18T13:39:00.001-06:00

the way I get answers to my prayers is not the way I want to get answers. Most of the time, I don't really even feel like I get an answer. Even when I say, "here is my solution, please help me to know if it's the right thing to do," I feel like the Lord waits for me to actually do that thing, and then He lets me know if it's right or wrong. Sometimes this doesn't even happen for a long time though so...I get frustrated. I like being in control and I like feeling like I have everything under control.

So with the bajillion and a half options I had for this fall, I decided very VERY last minute to stay in Rexburg. This was around the time my apartment complex manager emailed us all saying she was completely booked for fall AND after registration had already been open for a week (aka all of the classes were taken and registration is a nightmare.) I decided to register for fast grad, meaning I'll be going to school year round from here on out, and will graduate December 2012.

Well, saturday morning I woke up and decided I was going to stay here in the fall.

On saturday I filed a housing contract on my way out of town and slipped it under the office door.

On sunday I planned out a hundred different registration scenarios/grad plans.

On monday I camped out in the advising office and did everything short of threatening phsical violence to get someone to meet with me.

I spent close to five hours going back and forth to different offices, meeting with advisors and getting the proper forms signed. They told me it would be two to four weeks for my fast grad to be approved. A few hours later, I got an email saying it had been approved. I registered for classes and got all of the ones I needed.

On tuseday I got a call from my apartment manager, letting me know a spot had opened up for me, that I could stay in my same apartment and live with my friends.

I don't know why or how all of this is working out so well. I have to get a loan, which scares me, but I know I'm making the right choice in staying. I don't know why though.

I had to give up my photography minor, which I love, to have two health science clusters so that I can fulfill all the prerequisites for getting into grad school to study occupational therapy.

It's going to be a rough year and a half, but I'm proud of myself for getting this all under control. Even though BYUI tried to knock me down, I am fighting back! Knowing that I'm on track to make a difference in peoples' lives is so exciting!

phone picture dump #uno

2011-05-31T19:02:00.003-06:00

are you ready to see my life lately, as represented through the pictures on my phone? I thought so! Here goes:

First of all, I doodle all all all through every class, church meeting...everything
Oh and I'm very much in love with all the "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters I've been seeing lately

I am perfectly aware that I have the cutest nieces ever, thank you very much

When I go on roadtrips with my girls, I make them do phone photo shoots for me

Tam, Janessa and I ate a lot of eggs benedict, BUT since I can't eat wheat and Tam is a veggie-tarian, each of our plates were different. It's cool.

Janessa's=muffin, ham, egg, sauce (aka normal)

Tam's=english muffin, egg, sauce

mine=ham, egg, sauce

Mom says I have too much camera equipment.

I says I don't have enough :)
Plus, this is only one camera bag, and only four out of my...nine cameras...

Hecks yes, there is TOTES a Nielsen's in the Burg now!

TACO BUS! Happy cinco de mayo :) Me encanta el taco bus, fo realz

Just a cutey little cow. Not really important but...yeah.

Oh, and may I introduce you to starburst milkshakes? They are exactly what they sound like (milk+icecream+starbursts=manna from heaven)

and they will blow your mind.

That's enough for now. Toodles :)

beep bop boop

2011-05-16T11:24:00.000-06:00

" let's take a long walk through the cornfield

and I'll kiss you between the ears"

m+w

2011-05-14T16:33:00.000-06:00

so I took my first "real" engagements a few weeks ago.
I've really debated putting any of them up.
The light was too bright when we went out (I should have known better) and I really just don't think they show what I am capable of as a photographer.
I know I can do better.
Anyway, here are some that I thought were ok.

It's hard because I know I'm better than this and I don't want people to think I'm just a "mom-tographer" who doesn't know squat about lighting and never takes her camera off of the auto settings.

Photo is a tough business.
In any case, Matt and Wendy were fun to work with! Fun and obviously in love and willing to do all the crazy things I asked them to, which may or may not have included trespassing.

the temple

2011-05-04T11:30:00.002-06:00

I just got back from the temple and my heart is so full!

I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessing it is in my life. I'm grateful for the comfort and clarity it brings to my heart and mind.

With all the million other things I have to do every day, I still can't believe I let myself think that any one of them was more important than going to the temple. There is no replacement for the spirit in that building.

I know that I am a child of Heavenly parents, who love me more than I can fathom and want me to return to live with them one day.

I know my Savior lives.

This song was in my head the whole time I was there, and this video happens to have a lot of pictures from Rexburg in it.

pichas pichas

2011-04-27T11:24:00.000-06:00

I shot my first real engagement session this weekend! So while I am editing, this is my playlist...

Disarm--Ben Rector

Misery--Maroon 5

Shark in the Water--VV Brown

All This Time--One Republic

Paperweight--Joshua Radin

Can't Stop Lovin You--Phil Collins

Home--Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Carolina On My Mind--James Taylor

We All Need Saving--Jon McLaughlin

For the First Time-The Script

Like We Used To--A Rocket to the Moon

All About Us--He Is We

Kiss Me Slowly--Parachute/Lady Antebellum (my new repeat repeat repeat song)

What If You--Joshua Radin

Listen to all these songs and you will love your life!

And for those of you who don't like reading things without pictures, here you are. One of my new favs :)

conference weekend

2011-04-17T01:20:00.000-06:00

Jake Garn Workshop

2011-04-16T00:20:00.000-06:00

So lately...I guess it's a consequence of my greatest dream being smashed into a billion pieces, but I've just been feeling kind of like, "...photography...meh..." or in other words, just kind of burnt out of it all. Very uninspired.

Well a few weeks ago I found out that I'd won a free workshop with Jake Garn, a great photographer here in Utah.

The workshop was tonight and, to be honest, I debated going all day today. I don't know why. And then on the way there I thought my car was going to break down and I started talking myself out of it again.

Holy cow, I am SO SO glad I went! SO GLAD!

I learned so much, but these are the things that have me excited about photography again!

1. When the class started, Jake talked about having made the decision to quit photography a few months back. His reasons are much different than mine, but I realized that even the big shots get turned away from something they love sometimes.

2. Only about 1/3 of the people who tried to get in to the class actually got in. We were told this was a random selection but Jake told us tonight that wasn't quite true. Apparently, when he sent out the email telling us that he was going to randomly select who got into the class, there was a link on the bottom of the page, which he was able to track. The ones who got in the class were the ones who clicked on that link, "the curious ones" he called us. He said that proved to him that we were curious, hungry to know more. At first I didn't remember clicking on this link, but then I remembered how desperate I was to get into the class when I got that email and how I wanted to know any bit of information that might get me in. Apparently it worked because that's how I spent my evening :) I guess it just reaffirmed to me my desire to learn more.

3. This one is my favorite :) In the class he talked, among many other things, what to do to gain inspiration. The steps were 1. learn the basics, 2. find a niche, 3. find a muse, and 4. gain an audience.

YOU GUYS!! THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO DO! I won't pretend even for a second that I've mastered the basics, but the basics are done giving me inspiration. I'm done with that. It's time for me to find my niche, the thing to take pictures of that inspires me to take more and more pictures. It could be portraits, street, documentary, lifestyle, landscape...

I don't know, but I'm excited to find out :)

sorry

2011-04-09T10:59:00.001-06:00

sorry for my little outburst in that last post

here's what up

prologue: I'm already stressed about school because I SHOULD only have three semesters left, but since I changed my major and then my minor, I have five, which puts me in undergrad school a year longer than I should be, before I even get to start grad school.

Here's the thing.

Every time I've tried to make an appointment to talk to my assigned academic adviser, the students in the office wont let me--they tell me I just need to talk to them. So in talking to them, I asked if having a child development major and a photography minor would allow me to go to grad school for occupational therapy. Every time, they assured me that's all I needed to do.

Well, thursday night, in the midst of stressing about finals and packing and cleaning, I was looking on the U's website and stumbled upon the prerequisites for OT.

anatomy

physiology

statistics

chemisty

anthropology

sociology

abnormal physilogy

and about a hundred more classes I'm not smart enough to pass(except sociology, totally got a B+ this semester)/would have had to be doing the LAST 2 1/2 years to graduate in a timely manner.

I'm so overwhelmed I just don't know what to do. This would add another year, if not more, onto my undergraduate schooling. And not only does BYUI make it impossible to transfer, they limit your credits so even with just my declared major and minor, I'm going to have to file a petition to stay my last 3 semesters.

I know that technically, I could find a way to do it. It will take a million and half years, but it could probably be done.

BUT

For all I grumble and complain about marriage, I just always thought I would get my schooling done as soon as possible so that I could start a family if/when that opportunity arises.
ALSO
I would have to give up photography, and I'm not willing to do that.

I feel really lost

Not in the "i don't know who I am anymore" sense, I know exactly who "I am" and I KNOW that the Lord has a specific plan for me, but I just...I don't know what to do.

Besides a brief cross country truck driver phase my sophomore year of high school, this is all I've ever wanted to do.

Everyone has paradigm shifts and experiences that cause their dreams to change, but I've never had one brutally crushed like this. Completely annihilated.

So what do I do?

awesome

2011-04-07T19:20:00.000-06:00

perfect

I knew too many good things had happened lately.

I thought, "March was one of the worst months of my life. April is going so well so far, this is going to be a great month!"

Jinx

Just when I think I know what I want from life and things are going good, life takes a big old dump

right

face.

Good thing I haven't essentially wasted the last 2 1/2 years of school.

Good thing my dream for the last 5 years of being an occupational therapist didn't just get flushed down the toilet.

Good thing

star struck

2011-04-02T16:09:00.000-06:00

So...about a week ago I was on facebook and saw that two of my favorite photographers, Jake Garn and Ryan Muirhead, were putting on a free workshop. With adrenaline pumping, I registered and then sat back and waited to hear if I got in.

Last night I got an email telling me that only one third of the people who applied got accepted...

AND I AM ONE OF THEM!

These guys are seriously rockstars of photography right now, this is a pretty amazing opportunity.

If you're wondering who I'm talking about, refer to this post. or this one. or this one.

At the same time though, I don't really feel like I deserve it.

I don't do big things like this.

I back out of big opportunities.

I tell myself I don't deserve it; i'm not really into portraiture and I'm a very amateur picture taker.

I don't even really think of myself as a photographer. It's why I do weddings for free and don't advertise as much as I should.

But I'm so excited for this! I feel like I just won an acting workshop with Brad Pitt (yeah...I may have a little bit of a crush on Ryan...)

of websites and watermarks

2011-03-21T00:04:00.001-06:00

I have awesome friends.

About a month ago, my friend Mark texted me and told me to come over, that he had a surprise for me. So I made my way over to his apartment, and what do you think the surprise was?

People, this boy had MADE.ME.A.WEBSITE!!

A few days prior to this, he had helped me backup my computer to an external hard drive, and nabbed some of my pictures while he was at it. Also, I had been talking with him about how much I would like a watermark for my photography--BOY MADE ME A WATERMARK TOO! Now this watermark is a little big and a little block-y for my taste, but it's smart to have it so big, so no one can steal my photos and crop the mark out, taking credit for themselves. But can you believe that? The website even has it's own functional email address AND phone number that, when called, connects to my phone!

It's amazing and I love it :)

You can check out the website by clicking HERE!! (It's hasn't been updated in a while and only has a few pictures on it, but there will be more soon!)

second, I was texting my friend Robbie a few days ago and asked him to make me a water mark, so after asking some questions on specifics, he emailed me a mark that is perfectly me :) and I know there is an unfortunate lens flare ruining this otherwise cool picture, but there you have it. A watermark of my very own :) Which I need to learn to resize, because it's minuscule in this picture, but you get the general idea

today in class

2011-03-17T14:55:00.000-06:00

In my photography class, we have an assignment due every week. For each one, everyone in the class uploads their photos to the same flickr (a photo sharing website) account and then we scroll through and look at/analyze/critique them.

All semester it's been my goal to have Brother Wheeler (my teacher, duh) pull one of my pictures up...

AND TODAY HE DID!

and it was everything I dreamed it would be :)

The assignment was subject exploration, so we had to take a lot of pictures of the same subject. I took mine at Grandma Star's funeral.

One guy even said, of the faraway picture, that he thought it was one of the best of the whole group this week!

It's times like that that remind me why I love photography so much. I can't even explain that feeling!

Here are the pictures I turned in

a miracle of film

2011-03-16T10:00:00.002-06:00

I know I've talked a few times before about how I have my grandpa's camera from the Korean War.It looks kind of like this. This doesn't give a good idea of what it looks like, but picture...oldness. Leather bellows and a fold out lens and manual settings.

Without getting too technical, this is a really hard camera to use. Cameras now-a-days will tell you what settings to put your camera on, and when you look through the viewfinder, it will pretty much show you what the picture is going to look like. With this camera, it's kind of guess and check. The first roll of film I developed from it was useless.

At grandpa's funeral, I took a few pictures with this camera. When I went to the darkroom to develop them last night, I had no reason to believe they would actually turn out. In the pitch black of the darkroom, I prayed and prayed and prayed that there would be at least one image I could use. Developing the film, my hands shook and I got chemicals everywhere, and still I prayed that when I pulled out that roll of negatives, there would be SOMETHING I could use. Just one image, that would be enough for me. Against all odds, I had nine usable pictures! Two I had accidentally double exposed (one looked good, the other made me upset because I ruined a picture I had really wanted to use.)

I don't have time to explain more, i'm going to be late for class, but I have more to explain. If you check back later, I will make this post a little smoother and explain some things about the pictures. But for now, realize that every one of these pictures I took with a camera made in 1948 is a miracle :)

This one was double exposed but I think it turned out really cool :)

funerals: a sneek peak

2011-03-15T16:14:00.001-06:00

Aunt Lori's funeral last fall. Grandpa's funeral last Wednesday. Grandma's funeral last Saturday.

Too many funerals. I'm editing all the pictures now and I'm sad.

I miss my papa.

oh brother

2011-03-11T15:55:00.001-07:00

Heath and I just had this conversation:

Heath: Hey Hailee, do you know what rum is?

Me: ...alchohol...

Heath: Wrong! It's liquor!

Me: Same thing, Heath.

Him: Well how do you know?

Dear Grandpa

2011-03-05T10:01:00.004-07:00

Dear Grandpa,

I love you more than I can ever say, and I wish I had said it more often.

I remember being little and thinking you were the tallest man in the world. Even after diabetes took both of your legs, that didn't change.

I remember that summer Jeremy and I stayed with you and Grandma in Garden Valley for a week and you taught us how to shoot a gun, even though I was only 7 or 8. I remember how you got tired of us asking, "are we there yet?" on the way home so you taught us about mile markers and we counted every single one between Garden Valley and Spokane. I'm not sure which was more annoying.

I remember having imaginary tea parties with Grandma and begging you to join us. And you would. But you didn't want "any damn tea" so you would make us give you "beer" with your crumpets. I still have that tea set and when I see it I think of Grandma, but I also think of you. Every time.

I remember when we would play cards, when I was younger you got impatient that I couldn't shuffle when it was my turn, so you would do it for me. Before one family reunion I spent hours learning how to shuffle. When it came my turn, I practically shoved the deck of cards in your face but you still didn't notice. Until mom told you that I had learned to shuffle for you and you gave me the biggest smile. I'll never forget that smile, Grandpa. I'm sorry that sometimes I got annoyed that for the last few years all you could play was knock. I'd give anything to have another game of knock with you Papa.

You taught me how to drive a four wheeler.

I remember threats of being "thumped" if we weren't quiet, and of getting a shot of insulin if we watched you get yours, so we would peek around the corners at night and run away screaming and giggling once you caught us.

I remember the summer I was 19, you decided it was unacceptable for someone that old to have never seen Titanic. I think the nude part scarred me forever, but I am grateful for the time we spent together, regardless.

And oh, those Christmases together! The time we had to barbecue the turkey because the power went out. The time we got snowed in and you had to snowblow off the roof.

I'll cherish every picture of us together, Grandpa. Forever.

I have the camera you used during the Korean war, and I'm learning how to use it. Your initials are carved into the bottom of the case. That will always be one of my dearest treasures.

I'm glad you're not sick or in pain any more, but I miss you so much! I love you, Papa. I'm glad I got to see you one last time and to say goodbye, but I wish I hadn't had to. I can't wait to be with you again one day.

Love, Hailee

the end of a one sided love affair

2011-03-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

Remember how I occasionally write a post GUSHING about how in LOVE with Rebekah Westover I am, and how it breaks my heart that I will probably never be able to afford her shooting my wedding?

I still feel this way.

BUT

I have some news.

There are some new photographers in my heart.

Namely, Jonathan Canlas and Tavis Johnson.

Check them out and you will love them too.

They shoot all in film and their style and aesthetic is really similar, but unique to their individual personalities. I seriously can't get enough of either of them. Jonathan teaches workshops called Film Is Not Dead and it's my DREAM to go to one!

a $2000 dream :\

But they still inspire me!

I'm learning to be better with film!

The darkroom is one of the most tranquil places I could ever imagine. I love just putting my ipod in, listening to some chill tunes, and creating.

Plus it's like a whole roll of Christmas presents with every roll!

I mean, who doesn't love Christmas?

So Rebekah...don't think I love you any less...

I just had to scootch you over a little inside my heart.

That's all.

Newest Addiction

2011-02-28T17:05:00.001-07:00

Blame It On the Rain by He is We

Like ice cream for my ears! I can't get enough of this song. I have a friend who plays it on the guitar while I sing and just singing it makes me die. die. die. I can't stop singing it or listening to it. Don't get addicted.

Actually, do.

lately

2011-02-21T21:33:00.001-07:00

Amanda said she's tired of checking my blog and only seeing hockey pictures, so...this one's for you, Sweetheart :)

For valentine's day, we all went to our friend Jordan's birthday party! I made gluten free red velvet cupcakes and even MADE a stencil and stenciled on red sprinkle hearts. Sometimes I feel so crafty and mormon it makes even ME sick :P

It was a really fun way to spend Valentine's day, it's nice to have so many single friends :P

Grandpa got really sick this weekend, so I took my first road trip alone with Penny! We did really good together!

My favorite girl came over and we talked for a few hours. It was good to catch up and talk with someone who understands me so well. Love you, Mandamichelle!

I went to church with Dad and Laurie and got to see my brothers for a while. While they were getting ready for church, I heard Heath yelling "Hailee! Come look in my mirror!" and when I went into his bathroom, he was making this face into the mirror:

I love this boy so much! We spent the next ten minutes making videos on my phone of us pretending to be newscasters :) Downside to all this: our voices sound exactly the same. Bad news for me.

I got to see uncle Mark and it was so SO good! The first time I went to see him he just cried and held my hand to his heart. When I saw him the next day, he held my hand the whole time we were there and kept kissing it. At one point we were talking and he said, "Hailee is...exceptional!" I can't believe how well he's doing, especially after they told us he would be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life. He was even cracking jokes with his brother! I couldn't believe it! He was really tired by the time I was getting ready to leave, but he perked right up for a photo op!

Today we didn't have school, so Janessa and I went to our FHE brother's house to paint on their walls. It started off innocent enough, but Andrew and I got into a pretty intense paint fight! In fact, it's 9:30 at night and I STILL have paint all over my face, neck, and arms. Water doesn't take it off, and trying to peel it is PAINFUL.

Chewy's SUPER LEGIT shark!

Our pretty artwork:

hockey

2011-02-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I took some pictures of a hockey game for some friends.

The rest of the team loved them and wants me to be their "official team photographer"!!

One even mentioned paying me :) I won't take money for this, but it's such great confirmation that I'm alright at something that I love so much!

It's such a great feeling!

Here's a few of them

hiding

2011-02-06T22:46:00.002-07:00

object permanence is the "if-I-can't-see-you-you-can't-see-me" theory that little kids have (or have yet to master).

Sometimes, like now, I wish it was real and I could just cover my eyes and not have to deal with school and boys and life.

finally!

2011-01-29T11:07:00.002-07:00

I've been so busy lately, my blogging has been neglected! But this semester has been so much fun, here's a brief synopsis. Mostly in pictures. I'm sad to say though, I have been really bad about pictures this semester :\ Hopefully that will change soon, but there aren't a lot to share...

First, over the long weekend I went to Preston and went snowmobiling with my friend Cody. Sadly, I don't have any pictures of me and Cody together, or even me on a snowmobile! I was pretty bad about taking pictures this weekend, and my little camera was dying so I only got one picture with it (of Cody right after he launched us into a tree :) The rest are from the big camera, which was fun to have but a hassle to dig out.

Anyway, snowmobiling was a blast! I think I could do it every weekend and be alright

all the gang! Cody, Tyler, Terry, Mark, Burt

cody in a tree

it was super foggy on the first day!

cody. being cool.

beautiful views on the second day!

(I had an un-edited copy of this picture, but again, I'm too lazy to load it to photobucket then here. Sorry. Kinda)

Second, in our apartment we play copious amounts of the wii game "just dance." It's consumed our lives! But it's way fun :) I feel like I already put all of the good just dance pictures on my facebook. They're all pretty much the same so you can go check them out there if you feel so inclined :) Sorry, I'm just lazy

Yesterday, my photography lab ended two hours early, so I just sat and talked with my teacher and he gave me almost like a private tutoring session on my cameras! It was seriously great. I learned some really basic things that are already making shooting so much more fun! And my pictures beautiful. I was having lunch after class and wanted to test some things out, so my friends got to be my models. And by friends, I mean Stacey and Jake for a little bit, but mostly Taylor :)

Tay with my Olympus VI, which is ALMOST ready to be developed! Hallelujah!

Oh, speaking of Olympus VI...I love this camera :) It was my grandpa's in the Korean War, and now I'm using it! Love love love

Tay, working it like the rent is due tomorrow

Ps: that aesthetically pleasing blurriness in the background is called bokeh and i FINALLY know how to make it!! Not that it's hard, I just couldn't get my camera to do it before. Or so I thought.

smile! You're on candid camera

Last night we all went on a HUGE group date to play laser tag, icecream at Sammy's, and then Cool Runnings at our house. I think I got maybe one picture, so it will be up later.

Also, hopefully I'll have a fun post in the next few days regarding a new camera I might be acquiring today! Keep your fingers crossed!

there will be an answer

2011-01-18T17:38:00.003-07:00

when the sky is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. shine until tomorrow

let it be

*photo pirated from one of the best photographers i've ever seen, Devin Graham

a different blog

2011-01-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hey yo.

For one of my classes this semester I have to keep a blog.

But my teacher really wants outside opinions on the things I write about, so if you would please PLEASE pop over there every once in a while and leave a little comment, that would be much appreciated.

You will receive blessings in heaven.

And as an added reward, it's a really interesting class and I promise to keep the things I post about interesting. And then if you leave fun comments, it will be even more interesting!

You can get to it by clicking here.

Or by following the little linky to the right side of this page.

Thank you!

picturing

2011-01-13T16:35:00.001-07:00

I went out picturing for a little bit today, first with Stacey, then just by myself.

It's good to have supportive friends, but it's also good to have downtime doing something that I love.

I was doing a lot of thinking while I was out alone and came to another realization. Are you ready for it?

I'm a control freak.

A BIG TIME control freak.

I think that's why shooting with film scares me so much, because I can't see the results right away.

I can't delete it if it isn't perfect.

People will see the imperfect ones and that scares. me.

I actually came to this realization while...well, cheating, basically. The assignment was to have one roll of black and white film ready to develop for the lab tomorrow.

Me, thinking I'm sneaky and not wanting to waste any exposures, would take a picture with the old trusty digital, then adjust the settings on my film camera and snap the same picture. Cheating.

Despite having just changed the battery, my digital died before I could really even start. I think Heavenly Father a) knew I was cheating and didn't approve, and b) thought I needed a break from being able to control everything.

Despite a minor freak out, picturing was good today.

Two great things happened:

1) I was by a fabrication shop and saw an older mexican man welding something. During a break, I approached him and asked if I could take his picture. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Hello! My name is Hailee. Can I take your picture?

Him: Why?

Me: Because I think you are visually interesting

Him: No

Me: Um...okay! Thanks anyway!

So I walked around and pictured a little bit, and then tried to leave, but not quite having mastered driving a manual transmission, got stuck.
All of a sudden, there he was! He offered to push me out, I thanked him profusely, and left.

2) I was about to head home and still had about 10 exposures left. I decided to just drive along the highway and ended up at an old "antique" shop. Outside it was like a junkyard, in my head I kept comparing it to the island of misfit toys. Piles of bicycles and exercise equipment and stoves and lawnmowers shoved between old travel trailers and file cabinets.

It was beautiful.

So after tromping around, snapping pictures of rusty metal and peeling paint and other things I think are beautiful but that no one else probably cares about, my roll was finally finished!

So I went inside and decided to acquaint myself with the shop owner. He was a scary looking guy but he had a warm (albeit toothless) smile and helped me search the dusty piles of old electronics, bottles, and instruments for cameras. When there were none to be found, we chatted a little and I left. But I told him to expect me back often, looking for cameras.

Today has been long, and a little sad. It's cold and a little depressing here, but I'm glad for the opportunity I get to meet kind-hearted, even gruff looking, people.

And I get to see my family tomorrow.

Life is good.

a sad realization

2011-01-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

I think somewhere in my first year of college, I learned in a class, "the more you learn, the more you are aware of what you don't know" or something to that effect.

The more I learn about photography, the more I realize...I am not even half as good as I used to think I was.

I KNOW "that just means you have room to improve"

but sometimes when I'm looking at pictures that are so beautiful they make my heart hurt (like my latest find, pictures by Devin Graham)

I feel like I will never be that good.

I made the resolution that I would take ten pictures a day--but in Rexburg in the winter, you just run out of things to take pictures of REALLY FAST

A tree with snow

a train with snow

a car with snow

the temple with snow

snow

that pretty much covers it.

I want it to be spring

and warm

and green.

I'm tired of Rexburg

and snow

and being inside all the time

the last thing in Rexburg that is even remotely visually interesting

a confession

2011-01-11T18:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, like right now, I get sad that I didn't get to go to Russia

I hope I get to go someday!

no time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late

2011-01-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

School is giving me NO time to blog, even though there's lots I want to blog about. For now I will leave you with this little quote I just read and loved in the talk "Things as they really are" by Neal A. Maxwell

"Satan is very apt at using any momentum he has in order to make it look as though he has already prevailed. No wonder obvious exceptions irritate him so! Though he postures as a nonconformist, my, how the adversary likes his lemmings to line up and march--toward self-destruction--to the most conforming cadence caller of them all!"

I think I liked it so much because he used the word "lemming" :)

Resolutions

2011-01-01T09:08:00.001-07:00

I have a lot of new year's resolutions because, as I told one of my friends last night, I have a lot of things to work on.

So here they are, (sort of) in order of importance:

1. Scripture study and prayer, morning and night

2. Be more grateful, find opportunities to show gratitude

3. Look for opportunities to serve others every day

4. Better study habits. Homework done by 7. No homework/studying on sundays.

5. Be more selective about the people I choose to date. Have higher standards.

6. In bed by midnight

7. Get in shape. Look good in yoga pants.

8. less facebook!

9. take at least ten pictures a day, no matter what

So there you have it! We'll see how i do!

What are YOUR new year's resolutions?

getting excited

2010-12-31T10:50:00.000-07:00

ah!! The day after tomorrow I will be reunited with this girl:

and then two days later, with this girl:

and all will be right with the world.

I'm excited :)

something new #6

2010-12-22T13:51:00.001-07:00

I try really hard to make people think I'm funny.

I also try really hard to make it look like I'm not trying to be funny, but that it just comes naturally.

It's exhausting ~~sometimes~~ always!!

faculty vs students

2010-12-17T16:00:00.001-07:00

today was my last day of work (I'm super sad about that) and to kick off the christmas break with a bang, we had a faculty vs students basketball game.

The girls played the first and third quarters and the guys played the second and fourth. I wasn't originally planning on playing, but my friend Hailey that I teach with convinced me, so I gave in.

And boy I'm glad I did! It was super fun and I was glad to see that, even though I haven't played competitively since I was a freshman in high school, I still have a little bit of game :)

Those little girls were seriously brutal though, I got pretty banged up.

It was a little scary, however, when the first quarter got over. For those who may not know, I have a heck of a time absorbing iron, so I get tired really easily. I was feeling lightheaded so I walked to where no one could see me and sat down and I ended up almost blacking out :\ It took me to the end of the second quarter to be able to sit up, and then to the end of halftime to stand. But with nine minutes to go in the third quarter, I went back in the game and played the rest of the time.

And not just the players were brutal, but oh those fans! These are kids who have grown up going to Utah State Aggie games and cheered accordingly. Taunts of "you! will! miss! it! you! will! miss! it!", "LOSER! LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!", "You still suck! You still suck!" and many more filled the gym. I just laughed every time but it gave me a greater appreciation for what my friends who play for the Aggies go through. Or more appropriately, their competitors.

I even got fouled a couple times in the second half, but it was hard shooting my free throws when I was seeing double and not sure which basket to aim for.

Anyway, the teachers ended up winning and we were told we were the best girls team they've had in years. I just have one thing to say to those middle schoolers...

a very good night

2010-12-15T01:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight was so good. I wish every night could be like tonight!

Went to Takara! Ate some insanely good sushi with amazing people and had great conversations.

Went to Borders. Coveted books.

Went on a three hour Christmas light finding, doughnut turning, conversation having drive.

Tonight was a very good night

something new #5

2010-12-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

Here's something:

I'm not good at staying in touch with people.

I stink at it.

And I push people away.

Especially the good ones.

I don't know why.

Blech.

Prayer

2010-12-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little sick today, and mom has the car, so I've had a lot of downtime.

The internet is such a great resource for us to be able to access the words of modern day prophets and apostles. I'm so grateful for that.

Anyway, today I was reading the talk by Richard G. Scott entitled "Using the Supernal Power of Prayer" and I thought I would share some of my favorite parts:

"Prayer is a supernal gift of our Father in Heaven to every soul. Think of it: the absolute Supreme Being, the most all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful personage, encourages you and me, as insignificant as we are, to converse with Him as our Father [. . .] It matters not our circumstance, be we humble or arrogant, poor or rich, free or enslaved, learned or ignorant, loved or forsaken, we can address Him. We need no appointment. Our supplication can be brief or can occupy all the time needed. It can be an extended expression of love and gratitude or an urgent plea for help. He has created numberless cosmos and populated them with worlds, yet you and I can talk with Him personally, and He will ever answer."

What an amazing promise!

"Don’t worry about your clumsily expressed feelings. Just talk to your compassionate, understanding Father. You are His precious child whom He loves perfectly and wants to help. As you pray, recognize that Father in Heaven is near and He is listening."

I needed to hear that. Sometimes I feel like my prayers are inadequate.

"I have discovered that what sometimes seems an impenetrable barrier to communication is a giant step to be taken in trust. Seldom will you receive a complete response all at once. It will come a piece at a time, in packets, so that you will grow in capacity. As each piece is followed in faith, you will be led to other portions until you have the whole answer. That pattern requires you to exercise faith in our Father’s capacity to respond. While sometimes it’s very hard, it results in significant personal growth"

"Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. Your character will grow; your faith will increase"

"It is so hard when sincere prayer about something you desire very much is not answered the way you want. It is difficult to understand why your exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not grant the desired result"

"When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision"

There's so much more, I could post his entire talk. Instead, I'll just give you the link here.

the end

a goal

2010-12-08T10:59:00.001-07:00

I want to "be a photographer" so bad it hurts.

I keep a list on my desktop of cameras and lenses I will "buy one day when I am rich"

I spend so much time looking at my favorite photographers blogs and coveting their skills. (coughryanmuirheadcough)

I tell myself I can't be as good without their expensive cameras, lenses, equipment, etc...

THIS IS FALSE! I CAN BE GOOD WITH WHAT I HAVE!

So. My new goal is to carry my camera around with me everywhere. Take at least 10 pictures a day. Go exploring around Logan. Find the beauty in the places people don't usually see or might have forgotten.

my room

2010-12-04T18:30:00.005-07:00

My room isn't always clean.

In high school it was a random assortment of Audrey Hepburn and John Deere decorations.

But my room, no matter where I live, is my favorite place to be in the house.

Ever since I was little, that's where I'd go when I needed some alone time. It's where my books are and all the other things that bring me comfort.

For whatever reason, I really hate it when other people go into my room. It makes me cringe and grind my teeth.

That's all.

1. The boquet Brooklyn threw at her wedding. That I caught, because it was my duty as maid of honor

2. Every time my family gathers, the ladies do crafts. This was the one from our 4th of july reunion. They say "home" on the other side

3. Clothes :)

4. A small SMALL sampling of my books. Most are in storage :\ At home in CDA, Phil built floor to ceiling bookshelves along one of the walls in my room and they were all full of books. I miss that.

5. There's a mirror across from my bed. That's all.

6. Norbert, the dragon Brooklyn gave me for my birthday. He guards my room from monsters.

7. Magnet board with pictures :) Also random coloring book pages, a yoda birthday pin, and ballroom dance awards.

8. Audrey :)

9. The sophisticated jewelry display I made by shoving thumbtacks into the wall

something new #4

2010-12-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

I still have 4 baby teeth that have no permanent teeth under them.

I live in constant fear that one or all of them will fall out and I will have big ugly gaping holes in my mouth.

525,600 minutes

2010-11-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

At this time last year (ok, not down to the minute exactly, but close enough) I can't believe how different my life was compared to now.

I had been in Logan for 4 months and hadn't made a single friend. I was dying with the knowledge that I still had a month before I could get back to Rexburg.

But now...I just don't know how I'm feeling.

I mean, I still have about a thousand times more friends in Rexburg than I do in Logan.

I'm anxious to continue continuing my education.

I feel like I'm almost too old to be living with my parents.

BUT

I just can't shake the feeling that if I had a good reason to stay, I would jump on it.

I have the most incredible job, my ward is phenomenal, and i'm making really awesome friends.

I don't want to leave it behind.

Really really don't want to leave it...

something new #3

2010-11-29T19:04:00.002-07:00

I'm really really stubborn

I'm trying to work on being better.

For example, i can't STAND being told what to do. Whenever someone says, "oh, you'll have to [do something or other. Often "show it to me sometime"]" or "do this" even if it's something that I want to do or was planning on doing anyway, I no longer want to do it.

In fact, I will do everything in my power to never ever do that thing.

Also the first thought I have after such a statement is, invariably, "I don't have to do anything."

the reverse is also true, if someone tells me not to do something, even if it's something I wouldn't have done anyway, doing that thing becomes the sole purpose of my life.

i need to not be so stubborn

christmas flash mob

2010-11-29T11:20:00.003-07:00

this may or may not have made me cry every time I have watched it...

something new #2

2010-11-28T14:14:00.000-07:00

I read magazines from back to front

and a picture, because i feel like it :)

confession

2010-11-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have this fantasy where Rebekah Westover, Jonathan Canlas, and Ryan Muirhead and I are all best friends and hang out and take awesome photos and drink hot chocolate and travel the world together.

I also have another fantasy where Rebekah Westover reads my blog and thinks I'm the coolest thing since sliced bread and she wants me to assist her on photo shoots and when I get engaged she begs me to let her do all of my photos.

But on the other hand I hope she doesn't actually read my blog because my love for her kind of borders on an obsession. I can't help it. I'm sorry.

something new #1

2010-11-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

My friend Brooklyn did something on her blog that I really liked, so I'm going to copy.

In order to help you get to know me better, every once in a while I'm going to share with you something that not very many people, or any people at all, know about me. Maybe it will be fun? :)

So, to start it off:

i love hockey games. especially when there are fights. And I mean gloves off, bench clearing brawls.

Thankful #14

2010-11-21T21:23:00.003-07:00

I'm thankful for

the friends i've made this semester in Logan

that my babiest brother turns SIX tomorrow!

Okay, maybe not so much on that last one. That actually freaks me out

thankful #13

2010-11-20T23:08:00.001-07:00

I'm grateful that my Father in Heaven can see how things will effect me in an eternal perspective and guides my life accordingly.

Specifically...I don't know how to word it, but the lyrics from two songs will help.

First, Hilary Weeks' song Unwritten

For the roads I never traveled,

for the pain I never knew,

for the places that you kept me from--

Father I thank you.

For the days that were not wasted

for the years not spent in vain--

I'm grateful for the stories that remain unwritten.

And second, Michael McLean's He Gives Me What I Need:

All I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of,

everything I hoped, and all the things I prayed for

couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given--

I've been given what I need.

A mansion on a hill,

or love like in the movies,

perfect little dreams where no one has a problem.

Instead of all the things I thought I really wanted,

I've been given what I need

thankful #12

2010-11-17T09:01:00.002-07:00

my friends

I realize that most of these pictures are repetitive

I've just been reminiscing :)

I miss these people

all of them

thankful #11

2010-11-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

photography

and how it makes me happy like nothing else can

thankful #10

2010-11-14T12:42:00.002-07:00

my family

thankful #9

2010-11-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

After a years long battle with cancer, my aunt Lori passed away early this morning.

I'm so sad, but at the same time I'm so SO grateful for the gospel and what it teaches us about how families can be together forever through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

As I think about her young kids, her son on a mission...i'm grateful that they know and I know that we will see her again.

Thankful #8

2010-11-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful that, somehow, I've been blessed with the skill to really impress adults.

This is nice in instances when I need to register for classes and the one I want isn't available, but I can email the teacher asking for help, and they email me back saying they'll do anything they need to do to get me into their class :)

thankful #7

2010-11-11T08:27:00.001-07:00

Today I got a facebook message from the AMAZING photographer who did all of Brooklyn's wedding things.
She took the picture at the top of my blog

Seriously, she's amazing. AMAZING. Her name is Whitney Lewis and not only is she an amazing photographer, but she's just such a fun person! At Brooklyn's wedding she let me hold her camera and gave me photography tips and just sat and chatted with me.

And this morning I woke up to this:

Oh my gosh

Yeah, that really happened

thankful #6

2010-11-10T09:20:00.002-07:00

A week ago, last tuesday, a doctor told my aunt that Uncle Mark would never wake up, never speak again, and basically be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life. He told her, "it's not like he's just going to wake up one day and say 'hi'."

Well guess what?

Yesterday, HE WOKE UP!

Would you like to know what the first thing he said was?

"Hey."

And then he went on to answer questions, mostly yes or no, but he was talking.

And when one of his friends was leaving, he asked, "do you have to go?"

In your FACE, Dr. Kevorkian!

I'm so grateful for the power of prayer and fasting! I know it brings miracles to our lives!

ALSO

I watched this this morning and almost died. Amazing!

thankful #5

2010-11-09T06:25:00.000-07:00

Alexis Marie Maus

I love her hugs
I love her funny smile
I love how polite she is, always saying "please," "thank you," and "abacawa" (you're welcome)
I just love her so much!!

And...

Surprise! Baby girl #2! She doesn't have a name yet, but I feel fairly confident that this time around we will be getting a Hailee Jr.

thankful #4

2010-11-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

The thing I'm thankful for today is the reason I didn't blog yesterday

Yesterday I got the opportunity to go down to Provo and sing in the choir for Elder M. Russell Ballard's fireside. 

The choir was through the Logan LDS Institute and it was 1,100 people! 

It was an amazing experience, the last eight weeks of rehearsals, all culminating in that wonderful fireside last night where we got to share our testimonies with people all throughout the world by singing praises to our Father in Heaven.

It was something I'll never forget!

thankful #3

2010-11-06T10:30:00.000-06:00

COUGH SYRUP.APPLE JUICE.GRAPE G2

these are the things that, in what can only be called a suicide attempt, I drove my car to walgreens last night and bought. 

I hate being sick.

thankful #2

2010-11-05T10:29:00.001-06:00

My job

I love being "Miss Hailee" more than anything in the world. I love the two girls i work with, Charlee and Isabel. I even love them when they are grumpy and when they cough their little germs all up in my grill and get me sick.

Isabel, flapping around like a dragon

Charlee

Lastly, for my best friend

referring to me like so on her blog

Thankful #1

2010-11-04T09:49:00.000-06:00

A lot of people are making a blog post or facebook status of something they are grateful for each day this month. I know i'm a few days late, but better late than never.

You may not know, but a few weeks ago, my uncle Mark had a pretty serious stroke.

Today I'm overwhelmed with gratitude towards the people who have helped support my aunt and cousins in the last month. The people who have made meals, organized and donated things for garage sales, raised thousands of dollars, and just been there to offer love and support.

 I saw this when I logged onto facebook this morning:

I don't have any more words. I'm just so grateful

happy halloween!

2010-10-31T17:57:00.000-06:00

Rebekah Westover

2010-10-21T21:46:00.000-06:00

Not the subject of my blog :

I've wanted to write this particular blog for a while, but have been afraid that I'm going to come off whiney and pathetic. So I just want to say from the beginning, that's not my purpose.

Subject:

I've never been one to think and plan ahead about wedding details. But this last semester, having two roommates and my best friend planning weddings all for the same day, I was almost constantly up to my eyeballs in wedding details and, consequentially, thought more about MY wedding.

Even after all that, I still don't have my dress picked out or know what my colors are going to be.

There's actually only one thing I know for sure I want, and that is my photographer: Rebekah Westover. She's amazing. She's fantastic. As such, she's also very expensive.

(I would have liked to post pictures so you, too, could bask in the glory of her awesomeness, but I didn't have permission, so I didn't) 

I gave you the links to my two favorite weddings that she did. 

These literally make my heart ache because they are so beautiful.

Wedding #1

aka my favorite wedding EVER. Look. At. It.

Wedding #2

I started having heart palpitations the first time I looked through their bridals. For real.

So the part that might come off whiney is this: 

I NEED Rebekah Westover to photograph my wedding.

 It is the only thing I care about in life.

{Ok, not really, but I hope now you understand how much I want for this to happen}

I don't know if the magic lies in the fact that she is just a wizard with a camera and she makes everyone she shoots look like a movie star slash super model (probable), or that the only people who can afford her are that elite group of beautiful rich people who I aspire to be a part of but in reality...probably never will. I think it's a combination of the two. 

I don't need a poolside wedding with a Bentley to drive away in.

I don't need all my groomsmen to be in impeccably tailored Ann Taylor suits.

But I DO need Rebekah Westover to photograph my wedding. 

I just want it to happen.

photography

2010-10-11T22:27:00.009-06:00

I wish I could articulate how much I want to be a GREAT photographer. Lately I'm completely inspired by photographers I love, such as Rebekah Westover, Ryan Muirhead, and Chris Porsz. Their skillz are great.

In an effort to be better, I've been trying to shoot with film rather than digital. 

Holy COW, ladies and gentlemen, it is one of the scariest things I've ever done! I never realized how much of a security blanket my digital cameras are.

I've also come to realize that this is why there's such a boom in the photography bidness lately, because it's so much easier to take a good picture when you can take a billion and only use three that you can edit in a snap (digital) as opposed to taking two dozen at a time, spending ten dollars to get them developed, and finding that only one or two actually turned out (film). 

However, the ones that DO turn out...it's a great sense of accomplishment!

So today I developed my first roll of film.

Oh man. Most stunk, like this one: 

But the ones that did turn out, though they were only ok, as opposed to being great...it's a start. The fact that they're in focus is enough for me, for now. Since my shutter speed was too slow most of the time, this was actually a greater accomplishment than you'd think. Or maybe not. Anyway...

And though it's going to take a lot of effort to get to where I'd like to be, I'm excited for the journey!

Here are some of my favorite digital shots I've taken lately :)

work

2010-10-05T15:28:00.000-06:00

first of all, I think there's some weird full moon tonight that made all of the middle-schoolers turn into werewolves today

second, this conversation was the best way to start the day

Me: Hey Miguel! How are you today?

Miguel: I'm good, dog!

to my friend

2010-10-04T23:53:00.001-06:00

I don't know if you still read my blog, or if you even remember saying this (since I'm pretty sure you said it at about 3am), but I wonder if you will ever know how much it has helped me when you told me:

"The mirror never lies, it tells you exactly how it is, at face value. but the mirror doesn't tell you the whole truth... it doesn't tell you whats on the inside.. or what makes that person looking into it what he/she really is..."

Thanks for being my friend

employed!

2010-10-02T12:43:00.002-06:00

I have a job!

For those of you who don't know, this last week was my first at Mount Logan Middle School, working as an aide in their special needs class room and I  LOVE IT!! 

I honestly can't believe I'm getting paid to do something that I love so much! I only wish I could work for more than three hours a day.

Seriously. I'm in heaven.

My typical day goes a little like:

12:00- get to school

kids get back from lunch. Help them brush teeth. Read some books.

12:15- work with my main girl Isabel on something like counting money, calculator math, sorting, or telling time. One day this last week I spent this who hour in the speech room helping the teacher and about five different kids from the class.

1:00- take Isabel and Charlee (aka "my girls") to PE. Charlee can't walk without a walker and consequently hates to walk, so during PE she and I usually sit on the grass and collect sticks while Isabel goes and plays with the rest of the class

1:50- This hour kind of varies, depending on the day, but the majority of the time I go with another aide, Zach, and take his boys to keyboarding.

2:50- Get the kiddos ready to go and on the bus! 

So that's pretty much how my days go! I completely love it :) I wish I could take some pictures of my girls to show you how beautiful they are, but that's against the rules :\ 

Isabel is in the 7th grade, but is a teeny thing and looks like she's about 9 or 10. She's a total little firecracker and makes me laugh all the time--and she's so stinking smart! She can't talk very well, but between signing and talking, we manage to talk and joke most of the day. 

Also, she has trouble walking, but is mostly ok unless we have to go down stairs. Then I'm supposed to hold on to the back of her shirt, but she's FIERCELY independent and growls and tries to jerk away from me. Pretty much we're best friends unless we're going down a set of stairs or i'm trying to get her to do work.

so...that's my job and I love it! 

ps: It's my secret goal to have Isabel like me better than any of the other aides. I'll keep you updated on that :)

Is it too soon to be love?

2010-09-22T11:16:00.003-06:00

So I was watching the season premiere of Glee this morning.

There's a new character

His name is Sam, played by Chord Overstreet 

He has the face and vocal chords of a baby ANGEL. And those lips!

I saw him for the first time this morning...is it too soon to be love?

I couldn't figure out how to post the youtube video of him singing on Glee, but if you know what's good for you, you will click here and listen to his angelic voice.

Excuse me?

2010-09-09T15:48:00.000-06:00

Someone please tell me where this baby went...

...and who this big girl is! I can't even believe how big Lexi is! She is so sweet and fun and I love her so much! She always keeps us smiling :)

I love this last picture especially :) I can't look at it without getting a huge grin on my face.

THE END

life through my lense

2010-09-08T22:35:00.003-06:00

I'm learning/teaching myself how to use photoshop!

go me!

now I need to learn how to make a blog that will let me post bigger pictures...

that's next =]

my boyfriend Lee

2010-09-06T16:17:00.001-06:00

If you've never seen the show Pushing Daisies, you need to go watch both seasons NOW!

NOW, I SAY!

Not only is it a fantastic show, its leading man, Lee Pace, is too adorable for words

Take a look...

Mockingjay

2010-08-26T10:46:00.000-06:00

This book made me sad the whole time I was reading it.

Real

I have mixed feelings about it.

HOWEVER

I'm still super duper in love with Peeta. And every time I picture him in my head, this is who I see:

Christopher Egan

(forget his lametastic performance in Letters to Juliet and remember how awesomespice he was in Kings)

REAL

spring 2010 in pictures

2010-07-23T14:04:00.012-06:00

(WARNING: this post contains an overload of pictures)

This has truly been the best semester I've ever had in college

I didn't get perfect grades, but I made the most amazing friends and had fun ALL the time.
I love my friends
my roommates
everyone in the 30th ward.
i volunteered on and off campus
i was in the show choir

my ward is really social. we do a lot of stuff together and no one ever leaves. except for now. everyone is leaving to other apartment complexes, including me. I've lived in the same apartment for two years, but now I'm leaving, just like everyone else!
I'm trying to be ok with that :)
My bishop's fantastic, beautiful, wonderful wife, Sister Sevy, told me to look at it from the point of, now I will have friends all over Rexburg.
So that's what I'm doing! I'm sad to see this semester end, but happy for all the fantastic memories and friends I made

Pranking the guys

Camping
Taking an involuntary swim in our clothes--thanks guys!Representing the West side in the water battle of East vs West

Ward closing social: Slip n Slide

(Yes, that's my bishopric)

skipping studying for finals to go jump of bridges at Monkey Rock and the Sandbar

Sunday kite flying

Clean checks? Nope, haunted villages

The end :)

Matt and Noel

2010-07-17T09:50:00.003-06:00

I have a gigantic final to take today, and more to study for, so, naturally, i'm blogging.

In one of my special education classes this winter I met a guy named Matt (disclaimer:married) and got to know him a little bit better when we had a study group together. He set me up on a blind date, which turned out AWESOME and, since we have the same major, I still see him around every few days.

He and his cute wife Noelle (who I have never met, but I still think she's way cute) want to adopt a baby to be a part of their family. I have a link for their adoption blog here, I would really encourage everyone to check it out, they really are a sweet couple, and keep them in mind if you hear of anyone trying to give their baby up for adoption.
CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO GET TO THEIR ADOPTION BLOG

Thanks and I hope you all have a great weekend!

today and the rest of the week

2010-07-08T23:21:00.004-06:00

I have SO much homework to do tonight! Which is why I'm blogging. It's what I do instead of homework :)
Tomorrow is the final dress rehearsal for show choir before the big show on saturday.
My schedule tomorrow will go something like this:
12am-2am: homework
2am-7am: sleep. or watch scrubs. ok, sleep. probably.
7am: more homework
9.30am: walk to upper valley industries
10am: volunteer. crafts probably.
11am: walk somewhere. home or campus.
12.45pm-3pm: class
3pm-5pm: somewhere, somehow, find costumes for show choir. get ready for dress rehearsal
5pm-10pm or later: dance and sing
after that: die

yeah, that's going to be a bushel of fun!

HOWEVER
Today was fantastic

For one of my classes I have to volunteer at Upper Valley Industries (UVI), which is a center in town for mentally and physically disabled people.
It was AMAZING.
Truly one of the highlights of my semester.
I would go into detail but I know it wouldn't be as special to my dear readers as it was to me.
I'll just say that it was great for a few reasons:
1) it was an amazing confirmation to me that i've chosen the right career path and that i'll be doing what i love
2) how can you not be on the biggest high from an afternoon of giving service? Especially spending that time with autistic and down syndrome people, who, in my opinion, are some of the very sweetest people in this entire world :)
There are more reasons, but I'll leave it at that. I have to get back to homework.

But I'm excited to go back tomorrow morning

MAJOR CHANGE!

2010-06-04T08:53:00.004-06:00

I'm really excited that I have something new to blog about :)


I CHANGED MY MAJOR!
(haha, get it? Major change? I changed my major? yeah :)

I'm still going to be an occupational therapist but instead of Early Childhood Ed/Early Childhood Special Ed (ECE/ECSE), my major is now
CHILD DEVELOPMENT.

I'm excited about this for a few different reasons:

1. I don't have to student teach anymore!

2. I don't have to worry about lesson plans

3. No more student teaching

4. My ECSE major was a double major with no room for a minor.  With a CD major I had the option to either do a minor or two clusters, which are like mini majors.  The clusters I have chosen are
1. Photography!!! :)
2. Sociology!
I'm SO SO SO excited for both of those!

5. I DO NOT EVER HAVE TO STUDENT TEACH!

The only downside to this is that I'm a little bit behind in the program, but I think if I take 18 credits most semesters or consider changing to fast grad (going to school all three semesters instead of just two at a time) I can be done in a timely manner.
I'm so excited about this change! It will be a better degree when I eventually apply for grad school and it just feels so right!

THE END

One good thing about Mondays

2010-05-04T18:05:00.003-06:00

I usually hate Mondays. But lately I've found a reason to be really really happy on this otherwise lametastic day.
Missionaries
Two missionaries, to be exact.
The first is Bryant Baird, serving in Sao Paulo, Brazil. He's spent his first month in the MTC waiting for his visa, but hopefully it will bet there soon and he will be on his way. Bryant is a champ and I really enjoy reading his letters. He was awesome before he left but I can already see such growth when I read his emails.
The second is Ethan Griswold, serving in Guayaquil, Ecuador. Ethan is...amazing. He's been out less than a year and has already opened a million new areas. He's inspiring and amazing and my favorite part of almost every week is reading his email. I sure do miss him a lot though. He left for BYU about four months before I left for BYUI and we got really close before he left. He's just an awesome guy. I can't believe he's almost on the downhill slope!

Bryant, me and Ethan in 2008:

I LOVE THESE BOYS!